• Fight like a woman! Put on a dress, heels and some lipstick and close deals in boardrooms. You can still be powerful in a flowery dress.
• Women are dying of stroke and high blood pressure trying to be presentable to society.
Image: STAR ILLUSTRATED
“ This is Felly, she writes articles in the Star and she doesn’t like men!” A man was trying to introduce me at some local. I was so amused. So tickled that the man, and many men out there think I write against them. Well let me surprise those of you who think I do. I don’t. I write FOR women, not against men.
Now that we have that cleared out of the way, my son has rugby on Saturday mornings. (If anyone is looking for the next rugby star, look no further, it is my son!) There is a young girl who is also part of the group. A pre-teen. The other day, she was emotional about something or nothing. That is not the point even, it is the way she was handled by well-meaning (really, they meant well) adults.
Basically, everyone expected her to suck it in. Then the interventions, as if how she had reacted was wrong. It got me thinking, and of course, I aired my thoughts. Why must women “behave”? Why are there set rules of how we should react to things? Why is society uncomfortable when I cry, when I am sad?
When a man is upset, he will go off, flash a finger, stamp his feet, even punch something. We will say, “Anakuanga na temper! Don’t annoy him.” If it is a woman, "Ako na bwana? If she had one and was having sex often she'd be calm!”
And because of this, women have tried in vain to go through life trying to react without emotions. Whether we are pleased or not. Especially, though, when we are displeased. We must not show our emotions.
But duck them really. No one should go through life being what they are not. You are a woman, be the woman you are. No woman should be afraid to express herself because she will be labelled emotional and or sex-starved. Just because it makes other people uncomfortable. Let them be uncomfortable if they choose to be.
Do your thing, fight like a woman. You are not happy about something, say it. Are you uncomfortable, speak up. You have something to say, be articulate. Or not! Just say it in whatever form. (I am not an advocate of crying in professional spaces, but if that is how you are built, cry. They will learn not to make you cry!) What you must not agree to is to be cowed down. What you must get rid of is fear. I know it has been engrained in us: To look down on ourselves, to second guess ourselves. It is also not easy when pedestrian psychologists are always in your ear attempting to relate every move you make to your sexual escapades or lack thereof.
Fight like a woman! Put on a dress, heels and some lipstick and close deals in boardrooms. You can still be powerful in a flowery dress. I know they say wear a black or grey sensible suit. What do they know? You are living on your own terms. The world will adjust.
It is not your place, even if you have lipstick, to put it on a pig. Women are dying of stroke and high blood pressure trying to be presentable to society. Say it with me please, duck them! It is not working, move on. Forgive but do not be a fool. Fight for your children, give them the best that you can afford, but do not make them your life. I swear to you, there is no trophy for being a martyr.
Live! We only get this one life, and no one has come back to tell us what is on the other side. For all we know, we will be floating around and occasionally given a chance to haunt our enemies.
Someone said, live your life well so that we do not have to lie at your funeral. What a fool. Live your life so that you go out with no regrets. What they want to say at my funeral is above me. I will be in a box, it is entirely up to them.