I have never understood the bile many Kenyan men have against women. ( I wonder if they remember their mothers are women!)
Now let that woman be successful and or choose to date or marry a certain class of man (read rich), wah! The men who don’t fall in that class will talk about that woman like she not only stole food from their children’s mouths, but also insulted their mother. Here is the thing, accept where you are and go where you are celebrated. Leave those who would not choose you alone. There is a certain shop in a certain mall that has some really beautiful dresses. The dresses in this shop are, however, out of my price range - for now. I pass by the window and admire. Sometimes I walk in and touch a dress or two. I do not stand outside the shop and hurl insults at the owner for selling dresses I cannot afford. I do not tell her nobody will buy her dresses because they are expensive. I am mature enough to know she has her target clientele. Guess what though? A few shops down there is another shop that sells dresses I can afford. The sales girls are also always happy to see me.
A few weeks ago, a certain woman celebrity announced on social media she was single after finding out her fiancée/husband was a “community husband”. This is her second serious relationship as far as we know. And the men went after her. Her biggest sin? Choosing that certain class of men we talked about earlier. Her second biggest sin? Apparently having had other relationships (I did not know she was a nun). It is not clear whether it was before or during her community stint. Some men swore online that she was ‘also’ cheating. I do not know if they have been in her bed because how else would they know? I know these days there is a rise in communal conjugal activities but still, how can all these fellows be sure? Anyway, so she was painted as the modern day Jezebel and crucified by all morally upright men and some female angels waiting for their wings to fly to heaven.
Why are women always shamed for wanting a comfortable life and for having sex? As one of my favourite people said, we do not have sex with spoons or biros, we have it with men. Yet we are the ones with sin and the stoning commences.
If we like money, then anything that happens to us is because we followed the scent of comfort and so we must accept because choices have consequences, and the result of choosing to want money is a community husband, Mike Tyson’s apprentice and the devil in the flesh. First of all DUCK YOU! ( I am writing from my tab and auto correct seems to think I meant duck.) Some of us did not have a nose for comfort when we first started out, did not have a relationship before or during our community stints but still ended up like madam celeb;many worse off. Let me surprise you, sometimes the man is just a jerk. Did that ever occur to you well-meaning saints? In fact at least madam celeb has followed money. When she is down, she can get into her big car, and drive to somewhere for a change of scenery. In our time, we went all the way to the bathroom to cry. I wonder where the saints were then.
Bad things happen. Relationships do not work. Women are unhappy, men too. We make the best choices we know how to. We make choices we feel are the best for us. Yet sometimes it still goes belly up. It is life. It is not the woman’s fault because she likes money. (By the way all women like the convenience money affords). A marriage is between two people. At a time. There is nothing wrong with liking money and wanting to be around people with money.
There is also nothing wrong with the opposite.