Dr. Vicki L. Otaruyina is The Elevation Coach, a global strategist for purpose-led leadership and Editor-in-Chief of Divine Purpose MagazineBeyond the bustle of Lagos's soaring skyline or Nairobi's congested roads, a more subdued crisis is developing, one that rarely makes the news but has a profound impact on households throughout Africa's fast urbanising cities.
In African cities, parenting has grown more difficult. Today's African parent is left juggling more than ever before due to globalisation-induced cultural changes, the loss of traditional support networks, and fast-paced economic demands.
"Parenting today
in African urban centers comes with unique challenges because of the fast-paced
urbanisation, economic pressures from high costs of living, and other
factors," states Ibironke O. Semowo, co-founder of Our Nurture Zone and
convener of The Parents' Lounge.
“Parenting today in African urban centres comes with unique challenges because of the fast-paced urbanisation, economic pressures from high costs of living, and changing cultural values.”
Her work with over 200 families in Nigeria is bringing a timely message to the continent—mindful parenting may just be the anchor African parents need.
The Urban Parenting Dilemma
According to Ibironke, "balancing traditional values with modern influences is one of the biggest challenges in urban centers." "Parents are working harder to support the costly lifestyle that urban living demands—education, housing, recreation, and healthcare—and are under pressure and frequently absent from home."
The breakdown of social structures that historically assisted with parenting adds to this stress.
“It takes a village
to raise a child, but in today’s modern world, that village has been eroded.”
The Digital Age: Blessing and Burden
Today’s parents are also contending with the rapid rise of technology. While digital tools have opened up new educational opportunities and global exposure, they also present a minefield of risks.
“The modern parent’s paradox is teaching our children to embrace technology while helping them remember the warmth of human relationships,” Ibironke says.
She lists real
concerns:
●
Over-dependence on social media
validation
●
Exposure to cyberbullying and
harmful content
●
Screen addiction and reduced
real-world interaction
●
Tensions between online culture
and faith/traditional values
The solution, she insists, is not to reject technology, but to train children to use it responsibly:
“The same way you
cannot hand over the keys of a car to a child is the same way you should not
hand over technology and the cyberspace to your child without training them on
the use and safety of it.”
What Exactly Is Mindful Parenting?
Ibironke defines it as a blend of mindfulness—staying present and aware—with intentional parenting. It’s about being emotionally tuned in to your child’s needs and teaching through empathy rather than fear.
“Mindful parenting encourages you to be fully present in your child’s life and emotionally aware of their needs beyond material things,” she explains.
“A child should obey rules and
instructions from a place of understanding… not blind obedience.”
She doesn’t call for a rejection of African values, but for their enrichment through emotional intelligence:
“You are not rejecting traditional and cultural values, you are only adding the new to enrich emotional awareness.”
Bringing Back the Village—One Centre at a Time
Her response to working parents’ needs was Our Nurture Zone, an after-school care model born from her own challenges.
“What happens to children within those critical five hours from when they close from school and their parents close from work?” she asked.
That question led to a solution: children come “home” to a nurturing environment, with hot meals, rest, supervised homework, and structured activities led by experienced mothers.
“Yes, yes, and yes! I am advocating for this model to be replicated in different parts of African urban centres… Let’s bring back that village that urbanisation is taking away from us.”
What Needs to Happen Now
The first step in ensuring the future of African children is to assist their parents. Ibironke lays out a straightforward route:
● Like prenatal care, parenting education should be funded by the government.
● Professional on-site childcare must be provided by employers.
● Quarterly parenting workshops should be held in schools.
●
Parenting circles must be
established in communities, and elders must serve as mentors.
Her long-range
outlook?
“TPL is taking the message of mindful parenting to schools this year. The goal is to have quarterly parenting conferences that can be accessed across Africa.”
To the Overwhelmed Parent
To parents struggling with self-doubt and societal pressure, Ibironke offers heartfelt assurance:
“Dear parent, you are doing well and you are the best parent for your child, so breathe!”
She reminds us that parenting is a journey of phases, and what children need most is not perfection, but presence.
“A perfect parent is an illusion… your child needs a present parent who is willing to learn and grow alongside them.”
Rebuilding Africa, One Family at a Time
This is ultimately about more than just parenting. The goal is to develop future leaders who are emotionally stable and culturally rooted. As Ibironke sagely states:
“Raising emotionally secure, confident, and well-adjusted children lays the groundwork for a healthier society, stronger families, and future adults who lead with empathy, resilience, and purpose.”
It may have changed, but the African village is still there. We can rebuild it, one family at a time, with community, purpose, and mindful parenting.
