As people make their wedding vows in a church or the AG’s office, thoughts of breaking up or experiencing challenges are the last thing on their mind.
Many people are trapped in abusive, hateful, toxic, unsupportive relationships, unions, and marriages in the name of we made our vows before God and family.
Addressing these issues pre-formalising unions and relationships are vital to ensure couples that choose to take it to the next level agree on what should happen in case a relationship or marriage doesn't work.
Most of the time, women are on the receiving end.
These pressure stems from society and our families and can affect one’s decision.
Women have been socialised to believe they need to sort out any issues including violence to keep the marriage and family together.
Domestic abuse, violence, and toxicity in relationships including marriage affect a person’s mental, physical and emotional state.
Not to forget that in some of these relationships and unions there are children who are usually affected by this violence.
I have witnessed violence in my family and it's not something to smile about.
I remember my mother at one point just taking us her children and leaving after an altercation. I salute this woman to date.
To people who take their vow before God, it's even worse.
In some religious teachings and environments, divorce is considered a sin, since marriage is considered a sacred sacrament.
In Matthew 19:6: The Bible says so they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.
From my simple understanding of this, it means that marriage comes from God and therefore people should not end a marriage.
However, divorce should be religiously supported.
Let people be able to separate.
Religious leaders should honour divorcees and not in any way condemn their decisions to leave.
What is the impact of religion on the outcome of abusive and broken down marriages among its congregants?
It is shocking to see religious leaders asking their congregants to stay in abusive marriages and unions and in the end, they pray at your burial.
Praying won't end the violence, the cycle of abuse and some cases that have been reported before it gets worse.
Leaving, divorcing, break-ups, and taking a break should be encouraged.
The community including the church should stop condemning divorce when abuse and domestic violence is present.
No one in any kind of a relationship, or marriage, should experience financial, emotional, or physical abuse including misery.
Leaving and divorce should be an option.
Youth Activist
Edited by Kiilu Damaris
