The recording struck a nerve largely because it touched on a reality many Kenyans understand too well. /AIA heated phone recording shared online has ignited a conversation about parental expectations and the unspoken burden many Kenyan youths carry in the name of social responsibility.
In the clip, a mother is heard angrily reprimanding her daughter for sending home Sh5,000, and instead of expressing gratitude, outrightly rejects the money.
The mother is heard telling her daughter to reverse the transaction because the money was of no help to the family.
The recording struck a nerve largely because it touched on a reality many Kenyans understand too well.
In the absence of reliable government social safety nets, adult children—particularly firstborns—are often expected to financially support their parents and younger siblings.
The practice, commonly referred to as “black tax”, is culturally entrenched that it is frequently treated as a non-negotiable obligation rather than voluntary support.
In this case, the daughter appeared to be doing what many would consider more than her fair share.
Beyond sending money, she had reportedly been buying medicine whenever a family member fell ill. Yet even that was thrown back at her.
“Hatuna haja na wewe, hata hiyo elfu tano yako reverse juu hata haiwezi tusaidia,” the mother is heard saying in the recording.
(We don’t need you. Even reverse that five thousand shillings of yours, because it can’t even help us.)
The mother goes further, accusing her daughter of withholding money despite allegedly having plenty, and claims the small amounts sent home were merely a smokescreen.
“Imekuwa ati huwezi saidia mtoto mwingine na uko na pesa… badala hata hapo mwanzo utuambie huwezi kutusaidia ni kutuchanganya akili tu,” she says.
(You’ve normalised not helping another child even though you have money… you should have told us from the beginning that you can’t help us)
She ultimately warns her daughter against calling home again and tells her to forget she ever had a mother.
The lady reacted to the statement by holding her face in her palm, in an apparent display of shock and disbelief.
Kenyans reacted with anger, sympathy and painful recognition.
Many argued that the exchange reflected a toxic sense of entitlement that unfairly transfers parental responsibility onto children.
“That’s a very toxic mother,” one user wrote bluntly. Others framed the issue more broadly.
“This is what happens when parents have children as an investment or a retirement plan. Why is she forcing her to take care of her siblings?” another asked.
Some advised the young woman to take her mother at her word and cut contact entirely, even as one commenter pointed out that the woman's reaction to her daughter's help could be a sign of mental health.
“You’re hustling hard and probably struggling yourself. They don’t want the little you have—let them go find their own abundance,” one commenter said.
Not everyone focused solely on anger. A few cautioned that such words from a parent could have lasting emotional or even spiritual consequences, while others rejected that view, arguing the daughter had done nothing wrong and therefore had nothing to fear.
The conversation also widened into a critique of generational cycles of poverty.
One commenter observed that such entitlement “has kept Africa trapped in a cycle where each generation bleeds the next dry instead of building forward.”
Several people shared personal stories of being cut off emotionally after losing jobs or failing to meet family expectations, while others urged young people to be honest early about their financial limits to avoid unrealistic demands.
"We're undergoing so much, especially in the city of Nairobi...they think we have so much money which we're hiding in bank accounts."
One comment summed up the prevailing mood succinctly: “When someone sends you Sh5,000 in this economy, they’ve sacrificed something. Parents, your children are not your retirement plans.”
