The vagina is truly alive. It’s a deep space inside a woman's being. It feels, opens or closes, feels loved or afraid, responds or goes numb depending on how you treat it.
Making the vagina more pleasurable is a priority for intimacy, personal well-being and deeper connection.
Apart from nerve compression and hormonal shifts causing vagina numbness, how we move during sex contributes to more than 75 per cent of enjoyment, but no one wants to openly discuss this.
In my experience as a sexologist, the number of women with a numb vagina is very high but ignored, with focus tending to be more on men’s libido.
Read this if you struggle to feel much during sex. If you already feel, then you can feel 10 times even more than your current experience.
And if you're a man, read this to help your partner maintain an orgasmic pleasurable vagina. 1. Go in smoothly
Not the most important tip, but the most essential one. We are used to hammering the vagina.
The best-case scenario is that she may enjoy it because her sensitivity is in decline, and these two techniques are the only ones to keep her alive during sex. But the end-result could be desensitisation, shutting it permanently in the long term.
Just let the penis interact with it. Stop aggressive penetration. Fast entry is a shock that causes discomfort. You are immediately shutting down all her feeling for the rest of sex. Slow entry helps in escalating her sensitivity. 2. Be gentle with the fingers
People try too hard to stimulate the vagina. Vigorous rubbing of the sensitive areas offends the vagina. It responds badly when treated like an object. Interact with it like a conversation, gently and smoothly. 3. Diversify the rhythm
Changing your movement from one mode to another brings out a lot more sensitivity. You need also to raise intensity gradually from smaller movement to bigger movements. This retains more sensitivity. 4. Start from shallow to deep end
Do not engage the far end of the vagina first. Start at the front and in the middle with really nice interactive movement. Only later should you get round to engaging the cervix.
Engaging the far end too early makes a woman feel discomfort and closes her body up, reducing the sensitivity. This has a compounding effect towards vagina numbness.
Later in the intercourse, some women will enjoy harder and faster movement after the vagina is correctly activated and the sensitivity is fully engaged, but not before.
I understand some women may want the rough experience because they are already becoming fully desensitised, meaning that is the only technique that works. But that can be corrected by reversing the techniques. You can rub the clitoris but not the vagina to stimulate the latter indirectly. 5. Be present mentally
This one is completely on the woman's side. I always say your presence in your body is your most important sexual technique. You can make your sex so much more pleasurable with it, much more than with any single physical technique.
By presence, I mean really learning to be in your body, to connect with the feeling in this moment, to listen to every sensation as much as you can.
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Bringing sexy back to the vagina is a learned experience. All these components, when practised consistently, will gradually increase sensitivity. You have to start where you are at now, and it will grow with time.
I don't claim this will help all women. There are many causes for not feeling much inside the vagina. Hormonal, physical, traumatic and so on. But it may be you are just not doing what the vagina needs. And if you do, you can have a great experience.
I’m happy you now know what you need to change, and I wish you a happy changing experience. Dagitari Waruinu is a sexologist
Contact: 0745506140
Social media handles: @Dagitariwaruinu
