Stop commenting on other people’s children

Recurring snide remarks from relatives can push you to the limit

In Summary

• Why do people who have children believe they are the messiahs of parenting?

A mum helps a child play with a toy
A mum helps a child play with a toy

 I’m not angry, I’m vexed. I’m boiling with rage.

Who gives people the authority to comment on someone else's child? How can someone have the nerve to comment, critique or opine on matters of someone else’s kid?

I thought we were past this mentality after we refused the notion of our children being raised by ‘the village’.

We raise our own children. We provide everything for them from our own sweat and tears. Yet an * (I’m not allowed to curse here?) has the desire to point out what’s wrong with our kids. And I do not mean an unruly child who destroyed a home he visited; I mean a baby/ toddler they have never even met!

For context, I have family all over the world. Most of us spend years without seeing each other.

There is a person (very close by blood but very far in terms of physical familiarity) whom I try to maintain regular contact with due to our blood relation. However, physically, I have not seen this person in years.

That means most of my late twenties and thirties have been spent away from them. These were not only crucial years in my adulthood, there were a lot of life-changing moments that occurred in their absence.

My marriage and my parenting journey are part of it. So if a person who is dear to me can talk to my husband for five minutes on the phone and not formulate an opinion (or feel the need to share it) about his character, then why do they feel the need to do so about my child?

Who does that?!

Why do people who have children believe they are the messiahs of parenting? You do not know me, my husband or my child. I do not care how close of kin we are. Your opinions are of no importance.

Opinion is one thing, as infuriating as it is. But this person proceeded to ‘medically diagnose’ my child without even having to meet him. Since he was one, the person kept throwing this diagnosis around like it wasnt a serious thing. No matter how much I said otherwise.

I came to a breaking point a couple of weeks ago, when I still tried to calmly steer them away from the conversation but their insistence broke me. I have had enough!

I don’t give a flying rat’s behind what our relationship is, I am my child’s mother. I don't care how many children a person has or how much experience they have, they don't know my child better than me. They don’t provide my child with anything other than useless comments. I don’t need those either.

I am my child’s protector; I will cut down every single person who dares to harm or threaten my kid, no matter the relationship. Yes, I know comments should not affect me like this, but I expected better. Especially from people closest to us.

I cannot keep people around when their sole intention is to drag us down without reason. I do not care whether you are a sister, brother, mother or father. Right now, my only allegiance is to my child. Come for him and prepare to face the wrath of his mother!

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