Why people lose interest in relationships – expert

Losing interest in relationships is very normal and happens very frequently. Whether it is losing interest between friends or lovers.

A lot of factors can contribute to losing interest in someone or something.

In an interview with relationship expert James Mbugua, he said it is normal to lose feelings in a relationship.

He said feelings come and go because people have to put in the work to sustain them.

"If you narrow it down to love feelings, there is a lot of work to do to sustain that because love is something that is worked on daily," he said.

Mbugua gave some of the reasons people lose interest in relationships. They include:

Infidelity or betrayal

Trust is fundamental in a relationship. Betrayal or infidelity can shatter trust and lead to a loss of interest as the injured party may find it difficult to reconnect emotionally.

Communication issues

Poor communication or lack of meaningful conversations can lead to emotional disconnection, making one or both partners lose interest over time.

Compatibility mismatch 

As people evolve, their interests, values, and goals may change, leading to a misalignment between partners. This can result in a loss of interest as the relationship no longer meets their needs.

Lack of excitement or novelty

Relationships require effort to keep things fresh and exciting. If there's a lack of new experiences or spontaneity, it can lead to boredom and a loss of interest.

Unresolved conflicts or resentment

Lingering unresolved issues or resentment can erode the connection between partners, leading to a loss of interest over time.

Personal growth

Sometimes, individuals may outgrow their current relationship as they undergo personal growth and self-discovery. This can result in a loss of interest if the relationship no longer aligns with their evolving values and aspirations.

Mbugua also said some people still stay in relationships despite losing interest.

He gave the following reasons:

Social pressure or expectations

External factors such as societal norms, family expectations, or pressure from friends can influence individuals to maintain relationships for fear of judgment or criticism for ending the relationship.

"Many opt to stay in a relationship just to avoid feeling like an outcast," he said.

Children

For couples with children, the desire to provide stability and a two-parent household for their children can motivate them to stay together, even if their interest in each other has diminished.

Investment in the relationship

People often invest significant time, effort, and emotions into their relationships. They may feel reluctant to let go of these investments, even if the relationship no longer brings them happiness or fulfillment.

Cultural or religious beliefs

Cultural or religious beliefs may place a strong emphasis on commitment and staying together, even during challenging times. This can influence individuals to prioritize staying in the relationship over their happiness.

Fear of loneliness

Some individuals fear being alone or facing the unknowns of a single life. They may prefer to stay in a familiar relationship rather than venture into the uncertainty of being single.

Attachment or emotional dependence 

Emotional attachment or dependency on a partner can make it difficult for individuals to leave, even if the romantic spark has faded. They may fear the emotional pain of separation or struggle to envision life without their partner.

Lack of awareness 

Sometimes, individuals may not fully recognize or acknowledge their loss of interest in the relationship. They may convince themselves that they're content or ignore signs of dissatisfaction.

Avoidance of conflict

Fear of confrontation or conflict can prevent individuals from addressing their feelings honestly and openly. They may choose to avoid the discomfort of ending the relationship, hoping that things will improve on their own.

Hope for improvement

Despite lack of interest, some individuals may hold onto the hope that things will improve in the future. They may believe that with effort and time, the relationship can be revived or rekindled.