- Dating someone with narcissistic traits can be challenging and may require adjusting your expectations about what a relationship looks like.
- According to a Consultant Psychologist Dr. Hamida Ahmed, people with a narcissistic personality tend to be very charming and charismatic.
A narcissistic personality is a mental disorder that includes an unreasonably high sense of importance, a need for excessive admiration, and fragile self-esteem.
Such people need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them.
Those with the disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about other people's feelings.
What are the signs that you are dating a narcissist?
Dating someone with narcissistic traits can be challenging and may require adjusting your expectations about what a relationship looks like.
According to a Consultant Psychologist Dr. Hamida Ahmed, people with a narcissistic personality tend to be very charming and charismatic.
"Narcissists love to receive compliments, enjoy being the center of attention and exaggerate their achievements or importance," she said.
Ahmed said those with the disorder are quite grandiose as they tend to lack empathy.
"We have covert narcissists who are more subtle. They have the same traits as an overt narcissist but use humility to win over their targets. Narcissists have a false sense of superiority," she said.
Other signs are:
- Manipulative behavior: Narcissists often manipulate others to get what they want. They may use charm, flattery, or even guilt-tripping to manipulate you into doing things for them or to control the relationship.
- Sense of entitlement: They believe they are entitled to special treatment and privileges. They may expect you to cater to their needs without considering your own.
- Difficulty accepting criticism: Narcissists have fragile egos and cannot handle criticism or rejection well. They may react defensively, become angry, or even lash out if you criticise them or don't meet their expectations.
- Boundary violations: Narcissists often have poor boundaries and may invade your privacy, ignore your boundaries, or disregard your needs and feelings.
Doctor Ahmed said narcissists can be very good at flooding their partner with lots of love and affection to win their trust at the beginning (Love bombing).
This she said is mostly because of their selfish needs or gains as they want to win the love and trust of their target.
"They then start gaslighting, picking on you, or even verbally or physically abusive. There’s usually a cycle of love bombing, devaluing, withholding affection, abuse then the love bombing," she said.
The Consultant Psychologist said once they are done with you they discard you.
How to get out of the relationship
Dr. Ahmed notes that one should make sure their safety comes first and in case of any fear, plan your exit.
"Have a plan and a support system. Once you leave, cut communication unless it is really necessary," the consultant psychologist said.
This she said is because they might manipulate you back into the relationship or even get revenge.
One is also encouraged to go for therapy sessions if they can as well as work on finding themselves again and practicing self-care.
"What makes narcissists happy in relationships is control. They enjoy relationships where they are validated, praised, seen as special," Dr. Ahmed said.
"It's important to remember that everyone can exhibit narcissistic traits from time to time, but it becomes problematic when these traits are persistent, pervasive, and cause significant distress or impairment in relationships. If you suspect you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it may be helpful to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist."