From my depressed mind to yours

Florida vacation helps ease the stress of trying to make it in America

In Summary

• I cried in the car because I feel like I won’t make it and I’ll fail

Tourists at the beach
Tourists at the beach

I was at rock bottom when I wrote this. I had been depressed for years and I was barely holding on to anything. This Florida vacation changed my perspective on self, life and love. I left my sorrows with the ocean and then I went to Seattle. 

Today I cried in my car because I’m a little overwhelmed. I feel like I won’t make it and I’ll fail. 

I understand my feelings are rooted in fear, I validate them but I do not believe them to be my reality. 

Every day is another opportunity to do something for myself and to grow myself and to love myself and to take care of myself, and as long as this happens, as long as I don’t let situations become my absolute reality, I will keep growing and being better. 

Today was a challenge. But I made it. I’m proud of myself. 

Dear Ess,

Babe, I’m so glad you made it through a hard time. I appreciate you and everything you do. You are so loved and supported by me. You are such a light and I love you. 

We are okay today. We feel rooted in ourselves and happy with who we are. We are learning how to use our voice and we are learning how to be okay with taking up space always. 

Money loves us. She keeps visiting and as we keep getting to understand each other, to know and love each other, I’m hoping she becomes a permanent guest. For now, I am grateful and glad that she is my visitor. Always welcome to my home. 

We are just about to get off a Florida vacay. We loved it. We danced, we sang, we ate, we slept, we rested, we had the sand pretty deep up our ass, too. We wore a bikini even though we sometimes felt insecure and unsure. We took a walk on the beach with it and got a compliment. 

Now, you are rested and ready. I know you’re scared but I’m right here, baby. I got you. I love you. Seattle.

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