- "We were told that I am undergoing early menopause, and low sex drive is one of its signs."
- "I can be flirting with my husband the whole day, talking about the action, and getting excited but when I get home, I'm no longer in the mood."
They say wine gets better with age. This statement might be true for men but not women.
As she got into her 50s, Mercy Kwamboka's libido reduced, the urge to get intimate with her husband was no longer there and on many occasions, it put her marriage to test.
"In my late forties, I noticed that I didn't have the same drive as I had in my 20s and 30s, and it really bothered me, my friends would joke around the kerosene myth in high school that it was allegedly being added to our meals," she said.
When I asked her if she believes in the kerosene myth, Kwamboka, dismissed it saying if that was the case, then her libido would have been low even in her 20s.
"This thing has really bothered me, I can be flirting with my husband the whole day, talking about the action, and getting excited but when I get home, I'm no longer in the mood, I come up with silly excuses, and we end up not being intimate," she narrated.
"And when I get intimate, I don't enjoy it, it frustrates me. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and I'm still attracted to him, but I think with age, the drive is just no longer there."
Kwamboka is not the only woman going through a low libido.
Ann Wacheke, a 35-year-old business lady says she started experiencing low libido when she clocked 30, this was after she gave birth to her first child.
"I think priority shifted and we could only focus on the baby and nothing else. Neither my husband nor I were initiating intimacy and when he could initiate, I wasn't in the mood, even today, my drive is very low, I can go for months without being intimate, which really affects our marriage," she said.
"I rarely get aroused."
Unlike Kwamboka, Wacheke and her husband sought consultancy to help in improving their intimate life and the results from the physician really shocked the couple.
"We were told that I am undergoing early menopause, and low libido is one of its signs," she said.
She explained that her estrogen levels had declined leading to low libido, and was advised to take on certain foods and supplements to increase it.
"I have been on a routine diet of oats, nuts, apples, dried fruits and berries to increase my libido, and truth be told, my marriage is thriving," she said.
Kirui Kiplangat, a sex therapist says women with low libido should be open to their partners and express their 'frustrations' in order to work around the issue.
He suggests that women with low libido, especially women who have advanced in age, should change their routines, especially considering regular exercise and trying new things in the bedroom.
"Women with low libido should do more aerobics, swim more and most importantly admire their bodies, and make it a routine," he said
Kiplangat noted that it is important for women to also go for check-ups, especially for the change in pelvic examination.
"Other factors like thinning of the genital tissues, vaginal dryness can lead to low libido, regular check-ups help women to understand their bodies and seek medical attention."
Other factors that may lead to low libido would be underlying conditions such as diabetes, liver issues, and thyroid problems.