- We have so many responsibilities as parents that we hardly remember the commitment we have to each other as partners.
- I was surprised at how quickly I got over my guilt of sending the child away and relaxed in the environment I yearned for.
My husband and I have not been on a nighttime date since August of 2021. That was a few weeks before we had our first child. While my husband has had time away from us because of work, I have been attached to my child by the breast for the last two years. Needless to add, my husband and I have not had a night away from our child since we had him.
However, as I have succeeded in my mission to completely wean my child off the breast and 'lessened' our co-dependence, it has been astounding to see him bloom before my eyes. He can sleep for longer, stay for longer periods without me and even spend nights away from me.
This weekend we decided that it was time to put us first. You see, the moment we became parents we prioritised our role as parents more than our connection as a couple. Granted, it was necessary. We were both first-time parents and we had an itty bitty baby who depended on us. Moreover, our little family resides in a foreign country with no support or 'village' of our own.
Being home for a few months and having that support we desperately yearned for has afforded us many opportunities to do more things either together or apart. We spend quality time with our child, we broaden his horizons by sending him to learn new skills and meet new people. More importantly, we have learnt to entrust him to people that we trust to care for him.
We started off slowly by having him spend full days without us and picking him up in the evening. However, lately I found myself yearning for a night out as I had not been out at night for a very long time. My husband – albeit reluctantly – agreed that it was time for the little one to spend nights away from us.
For the first time in over two years, we spent time just as a couple and not as mum and dad. We finally got to have dinner out at night, stay out late and of course stay up as late as we wanted because we could afford to sleep in the next day.
I was surprised at how quickly I got over my guilt of sending the child away and relaxed in the environment I yearned for. It was refreshing to walk about the town when everything was dark. It was the best feeling to not rush myself into going home because someone was waiting for me. I could sleep easy at night knowing that my son was happy and comfortable with people he enjoys spending time with as much as us.
For so long I have seen how children chip away at relationships. Not by any fault of theirs, but of the parents for forgetting to prioritise their relationships. We have so many responsibilities as parents that we hardly remember the commitment we have to each other as partners. The need to grow together… The desire to see each other as more than just parents is equally crucial in a relationship as is the responsibility of being parents.