Happy 2023! The beginning of a year always brings with it renewed hope and dreams, including being a better teammate in bed. If you are in an intimate relationship and perhaps wondering if you are putting your best foot forward or keep putting it in your mouth, you're in good company.
You and I both know that bad sex will not stop us from having sex, but needless to say, we would rather have good sex. Everybody has their idea of what good sex feels like in their books, but there are some obvious things like good hygiene that cut across the board. Bad hygiene is definitely a turn-off for everyone.
Sex is not a one-way pleasure; it is a shared experience. So it is important to understand what your partner wants in bed. We talked to different men to try and understand what women do during sex that turns them off.
1. She has poor hygiene
"If I kiss her and her mouth stinks like a skunk, how does she even expect me to get hard?" Ruben wondered about a woman who does not observe oral hygiene. The chances are she is not also clean down there and that is such a turn-off!
Ladies, always ensure you smell good and keep your vagina clean.
2. She does not understand a man's penis
Granted, there are many men who do not understand the female sex anatomy and would never locate the G-spot in a thousand years. However, a man's love muscle is external and pretty straightforward.
Don't dig your teeth into his penis or tug at it like you are harvesting carrots. Take your time to understand what pressure is pleasurable. If your man likes blow jobs, learn to give the perfect BJ. Learn how he likes to be stroked and what gives him pleasure. Does he like it slow, fast or hard? While at it, find out if he also wants his balls and perineum fondled.
3. She is a starfish
Don't play dead during sex... You know, just lying there with your hands and legs stretched out like a starfish with zero action. A number of the men complained their women just lie in bed like a corpse.
4. She speaks about her issues during sex
Avoid the temptation to tell him about the drama that happened in the office or how your girlfriend betrayed you. This is definitely not the moment to tell him that your rent is in arrears or that you are out of groceries. You will only succeed in turning him off.
Focus on the moment, don't be a spoilsport.
5. She is timid
Forget about the stretch marks or your fallen soldiers; no one has the perfect body. He is there because he wants to be with you.
Women who are timid will have many restrictions and hardly enjoy sex themselves. They will not want to have sex with the lights on as they are scared their partner will not like their body.
"Chances are I will not even have noticed the stretch marks until she pointed them out." Be confident in your body and enjoy the moment. If you think you would feel better with a few kilos less, work out to get your ideal body.
6. She fakes orgasms
The downside with faking orgasms is that you communicate the wrong information to your man. The poor guy thinks he's hitting all the right notes while in real sense, he cannot even give you an orgasm. Unfortunately, he will continue to do all the wrong things since he thinks he makes you orgasm.
7. She is unwilling to try new things
Why restrict your entire sex life to missionary when you can open yourself up to new experiences? Don't just lie there like a log, be creative. Explore new styles and places. Fresh ideas help to keep the fire burning.
Remember, it does not have to be in bed every time.
8. She is a 'dick-tator'
Sex is more fulfilling when you guide your partner in the direction you want to avoid turning them off with what they don't like. However, it is important to strike a healthy balancing act between guiding his dick lovingly and making him feel like he knows nothing about lovemaking. Don't emasculate him when he is inside you in a bid to show him how you like it.
9. She assumes the dick is the only erogenous zone
C'mon, we are more than just our love muscle. Take time to understand what turns on your man other than his penis. Does he want you to gently bite his earlobes? Cradle his balls? Caress his nipples perhaps? Find out what turns him on and work the magic.
10. She says things about his penis
The fastest was to crush his ego is to speak negatively about his love muscle. Men are extremely sensitive about their dicks, so choose your words very wisely if you have to.
Spare him the details on the shape, size, taste, colour, how dense or sparse his pubic hairs are or anything that will leave him feeling less of a man.
11. She compares him to other men
Big mistake! Don't ever compare him to any of your exes under any circumstances. Don't compare how he makes you feel with anyone else from your past. These sexual comparisons kill a man's ego.
