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Dear Felly: My old mistakes keep being brought up

Please consider non-faith based counselling together and as individuals.

In Summary

• My slip-ups are getting less and less but I am still judged like I am the person I was before when I was a total tool. It is becoming too much. I just want peace. How can I achieve it?

• I know you are in a difficult place now, but you are on the right track. You are still trying.

Finding solutions
Finding solutions
Image: FILE

Dear Felly,

I was not always the best husband. I messed up a lot when I was younger. I am trying to do better but every time I slip, old mistakes are brought up. No two situations are the same as I keep saying, but I keep being compared to other men who seem like they have their lives together.

My slip-ups are getting less and less but I am still judged like I am the person I was before when I was a total tool. It is becoming too much. I just want peace. How can I achieve it?

Frustrated.


Dear Frustrated,

Goodman yourself! Very few people can accept they were tools with no excuse. I commend you.

Now, my friend, you must now face the consequences of your choices. I am sure you have learnt by now that saying sorry changes very little. You wife (I am sure) is not a mythical being that erases all memories of your transgressions. When someone loves you, you can only hurt them so much before the feeling stops being love.

Appreciate that she got where she is now overtime because of your actions. You are now creating a new experience by being better, it will take time. It is uncomfortable. It was uncomfortable for her when you went through you cock-ups. You must now love her through her process to come to terms with the new you. You will have peace then.

JayZ said, “The hardest thing is seeing pain on someone’s face that you caused” I know you are in a difficult place now, but you are on the right track. You are still trying.

Please consider non-faith based counselling together and as individuals.

All the best.