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Dear Felly: Should we experiment with sex before marriage?

We go wrong when we think there is a one size fits all road map.

In Summary

• Do you believe in sex after marriage or experimenting to know what your man can do before getting into marriage?

• This is a strange question. What happens after a marriage that would make sex a topic of discussion?

Women have a right to pleasure
Women have a right to pleasure
Image: OZONE

Hi Felly,

I went through the "women have a right to pleasure". As always I have no problem with that but just a few questions:

  1. What about if one is married but not getting the 'pleasure'? Do you advocate for outsourcing from another man?
  2. Do you believe in sex after marriage? or
  3. Experimenting to know what your man can do before getting into marriage?

Jared.


Dear Jared,

Thank you for reading my article and taking the time to write to me.

Do I advocate for ‘outsourcing’ pleasure if one is not getting pleasure at home? I will say I advocate for an adult to do what they want. I am not the moral police or any police for that matter. I will say this, however, that everyone should weigh pros and cons and do what they can live with the full knowledge that they are members of a family, society.

Do I believe in sex after marriage? This is a strange question. What happens after a marriage that would make sex a topic of discussion? I will tell you what an elderly woman told a group of us once, a long time ago. She had just been widowed and had got a boyfriend. The church women were not happy that she was enjoying physical pleasures. She said her body was used to having physical relations. She was not going to try and stop feeling her body was accustomed to. I hope this helps you with the mysteries of sex after marriage.

For your third question, again I will say, adults should make their own decisions. We go wrong when we think there is a one size fits all road map. Everyone navigates their life as they choose and all we can hope is that they consider the repercussions of their decisions. Let us stop worrying so much if people are doing “right” or ‘wrong” things. Let us be more concerned with ourselves and what we do to make the world a better place.