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Dear Felly: Why not speak of fathers denied access to kids?

Co-parenting is usually easier if a man takes the lead, is sober and puts his kids first.

In Summary

• How about those fathers' out there who are deliberately DENIED access to their biological children by their estranged wives for no apparent good reason?

• I am not saying that there are no women who try this move, I am saying that men do not try to fight for their children like women do.

Dead Beat
Dead Beat

Dear Felly,

Thanks for your comment on the Star Thursday, June 20, 2019. My attention is drawn to the fact that you just seemed to address the issue from one side of the gender.

How about those fathers' out there who are deliberately DENIED access to their biological children by their estranged wives for no apparent good reason? Yet they want to be party to their children lives and upbringing.

Boaz.

Hi Boaz,

Thank you for reading my article.

It is funny, so many men have written asking your same question and not giving any examples. They just want a hypothetical argument. Granted, there are men whose wives disappear with their children.

I remember a story when we were younger, a woman left the country with her children. She had claimed her husband was abusive. She later came on holiday without the children and the man went to court to stop her return abroad until she produced his children.

The truth is, the man really did not want access to the children but to punish her. This is usually the case with many men. When the relationship with the mother of the child goes sour, they use the kids to punish the woman. They either decide to take the children away from the woman or refuse to provide for the children.

A man who wants to see his children will do so, and they do. In fact, co-parenting is usually easier if a man takes the lead and is sober in his mind and puts his kids first.

 

I just fail to see how a woman can refuse to give a man access to his children especially if they are in the same city. Even country.

How? Does she just say do not see your children and you do not? Does she just hide them? Unless the woman feels like he would want to take the children from her or he will expose them to bad things.

Listen, the law is still very pro man. Go to court if she is unreasonable and you only have your children’s best interest at heart.

Unlike a woman trying to get a man to provide for his children, I should think it would be so easy for a man to go to court and say, 'Please, I want to provide for my children and see them!'.

I am not saying that there are no women who try this move, I am saying that men do not try to fight for their children like women do.