Dear W,
I feel your frustration. Especially in a society that is used to tagging women with certain stories to keep them from attaining their own potential.
I say this because you say you are over thirty five as if you are as old as God and therefore will not find your age mate on earth. You add that you have one child. I do not know if that is for shock effects or what.
I would have wanted to hear what you come with if it was a crocodile or a hyena. A child? What is wrong with that? Children are blessings.
I know what society says, please believe me, but it is up to you to write your own story. Stop limiting yourself. Your limiting belief makes you ooze negative vibes.
I know of a man who has two wives. He is now pursuing a third woman who has multiple children (not his children). He wants to marry her, build her a house in the village and many other things that seem crazy to everyone but him. He is not seeking anyone's opinion.
I read somewhere that girls are taught to be perfect, boys are taught to be brave. When you look at it, who sets the standards of perfection for girls? So you are out here, wishing you could swallow your child and be a twenty something year old virgin so that you could get a mate.
While a man your age or younger, sometimes with more children is brave enough to pursue someone younger or even older and has no hang ups.
Listen, I am not saying you should compete, I am saying learn from it, be brave. Be brave enough to show up as yourself knowing that there is one or many for you. Do not hide anything. I know women who hide that they have children or how old they are in the hopes that the man will be too in love to care when they are finally told or find out the truth. That is manipulative.
Just be you and accept yourself and the circumstances you find yourself in. It is what it is. Your person (s) will find you or you will find each other and they will not care if you have a crocodile either.
Stop listening to some bitter elements in society, who are not even your type. Do not allow anyone to set your standards of perfection. Set your own and be brave. There is no scarcity of men, only the one you set in your head.
