What a man really wants

What a man really wants in a woman is simple — someone who sees the best version of himself

In Summary

• A curvy, drop-dead gorgeous wife is just a fantasy; expectations are different in reality


For years and in countless relationship magazine articles, women have been sharing with us what they want in a man. Conversely, the frequency of articles on what men want in a woman is much less, I’d even go as far as to say rare.

One can only speculate as to why this deluge of articles on what women want, but if I had to guess, I’d say one reason is men tend not to share feelings, making it difficult to know what they really want in a woman and out of a relationship.

Almost all of us are familiar with what women want in a man. We read about it often enough. Among the top 'women wants' are a trustworthy, dependable and monogamous man. A man with eyes only for her and whose love and good treatment is exclusive.

Security is also a biggie. Even if she has a gun and a martial arts black belt, and is several strata above her man economically speaking, her man should be a protector, is what women say they want, irrespective of whether she can take care of herself well enough.

Women also want a man with a vision, a confident man, who is going places. Ideally, that same man has to be in touch with his feelings, affectionate in the holding-hands sense, and sensitive, too.

The man has to be attentive, calling and texting and pursuing her with roses and chocolate, even if they’ve been married for years. She wants him to listen to her and for him to remember what she said. Understanding is a thing as well; a man who knows her so well she doesn’t need to have to explain herself for he just gets it.

All of the above have to come wrapped in an attractive package, a good-looking man who’s well turned out and good in bed.

Now when it comes to what men really want in a woman, contrary to popular myth, and this might come as a surprise to many, it’s not a curvy, drop-dead gorgeous trophy wife that the man has great sex with everywhere and at any time. That’s just a fantasy every man entertains. What a man really wants in a woman is simple — someone who sees him for who he’d rather be; the best version of himself.

This is to say if he is a bank teller, bright and with ambitions of becoming a bank CEO, but not living up to his full potential as he can’t catch a break and get a promotion, in your eyes, what your man wants to see reflected back to him when you look at him is a bank CEO.

‘A wise woman knows the importance of speaking life into her man. If you love him; believe in him, encourage him, be his peace.’ – Denzel Washington.    

Many a lady might not agree with what me and Denzel have to say about what a man really wants in a woman, but do you know that question – what does he see in her (the other woman) that made him leave me?

The answer to that question is: he sees in her, reflected back to him, the best version of himself.