SAMANTHA'S CHRONICLES

Sexting brings up cheating skeletons

In phone chat, Samantha swaps her random experience with a guy

In Summary

• Telecommunication has largely replaced actual, physical, face-to-face meetings

A couple on a date
A couple on a date
Image: COURTESY

Yes, sexting is the in-thing now. Why is it so damn fulfilling? I’m not sure if today’s telecommunications have replaced actual, physical, face-to-face meetings, but that’s where Alan and I are at the moment.

We sext. A lot. But we talk about other stuff as well. Like today, he seems to be curious about my past. I should mention that just yesterday, Alan said that when he first met me, he thought I’d be trouble. He didn’t elaborate. He’s not married but he has a long-term girlfriend. He never talks about her but then again, neither do I.

Him: Most random experience with a guy?

Me: This guy I kinda liked and thought liked me, invited me over to his digs.

Him: Should I get comfortable?

Me: Stop, it’s not that kind of a story. Ha ha. A lady showed up….

Him: Are you sure I shouldn’t get comfortable?

Me: Alan … I don’t do threesomes. That’s a college thing.

Him: I thought this story was in your past? That covers college.

Me: Moving swiftly along… There were some friends of his there, too.

Him: Wow, that’s kinky, even for you.

Me: STOP! Ha ha. Anyway, at some point I’m on the balcony, having a conversation with his friends, and when I go back into the apartment to refill my drink, get this, both him and the lady have disappeared into the bedroom.

Him: I knew I should have gotten comfortable. Where’s the popcorn?

Me: I sit on the couch and wait. She comes out first, looking all flustered. I then hear the distinct sound of air freshener being sprayed around the room.

Him: Whoaaaah!

Me: So he thinks I’m still on the balcony and is clearly getting rid of the sexual odours.

Him: Ha ha ha…

Me: Does he expect me to also sleep with him? You can only clear the air if you think I’ll be going into the room, right?

Him: Wow, he has guts! How can someone do that? He is unsure what he wants. That is disrespectful. Did he text and explain himself?

Me: What explanation could he possibly give? She wanted to see his drapes? I moved on.

Him: Ha ha. No time to waste, I see.

Me: I have too much self-love. I need a man, not a boy.

Him: Every lady needs a man.

Me: And what do men need?

Him: I don’t know, we are a confused breed.

Me: (Three laughing emojis)

Him: That’s the truth, my lady.

Me: What do YOU want? Or you don’t know either?

Him: Peace, that’s all I ask for.

Me: And do you have that?

Him: Most of the time.

Me: So is it safe to say that peace ends because you went looking for trouble?

Him: You have peace when you avoid looking for trouble.

Me: What if trouble finds you?

Him: At least it found you. So according to this topic, what do women want?

Me: I don’t know, we are a confused breed.

Him: (Three laughing emojis)

Me: That’s the truth, my lord.

Him: What do YOU want? Or you don’t know, either?

Me: Peace, that’s all I ask for. Ha ha ha…

Him: Touché.