The day I quit the bachelors’ club

Persistency pays off as bachelor succumbs to the charms of Ms Harper

In Summary

• Hardest of hearts is put to the test when unrequited love is challenged 

Lovers on the sofa
Lovers on the sofa


Remember the way last week I related how I realised I’m practically married to Ms Harper, the wonderful lady from the land of the Grand Canyon?

Well, I did say my bachelorhood was doomed, and I’m afraid (and a little embarrassed) to say I was right.

We may not have made it official yet, but all the groundwork appears to be in place for the bachelor to finally take the plunge.

Frankly, it seems strange how things have come to this. Only a couple odd months ago, I was a happy-go-lucky bachelor living my best life. Then the most beautiful soul came into my life and turned it upside down.

I tried everything to turn her off, from trying to convince her life in Kenya is hell, to introducing Harper to my fake fiancée. Nothing worked. She promised to work through anything I threw her way, including being my second or third wife, if that’s what it takes.

The other night at dinner, Harper twirled her fork through the spicy spaghetti with garlic mushrooms (Did I mention she’s a damn good cook?) and seemed quite out of sorts.

 “What’s the matter?” I asked.

A tear dropped into her plate. “What do I have to do to show you that I love you?”

I touched her arm. “You don’t have to say anything, Harper. I know you do.”

She looked at me through a film of tears. “So why won’t you love me back?”

Indeed, why won’t I? If I’ll ever truly love a woman, it will be her. So why was it so hard for me to admit how I felt for her?

For the next few minutes, I wasn’t in control of my body. That’s the only way I can explain my actions. I rose off my seat and guided Harper to her feet next to the small coffee table. Then I got on one knee.

In tears, she asked, “What are you doing?”

I took her hand in mine and said, “Miss Harper Johnson, you’ve been to me the most adorable person I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. Before I met you, I had vowed to remain a bachelor for life, but the moment I saw you, I felt that resolution was in grave danger. Now, I can’t imagine living another day without you. So, will do me the favour of becoming my wife?”

She looked at my empty hands. “But… you don’t even have a ring.”

“Oh, yes. Right.” I dipped into my plate and took a strand of spaghetti. “Is that yes?”

She nodded emphatically. “Yes, yes! I will.”

I wrapped the pasta around her middle finger. She took my face in her hands and kissed me deeply. That night, we made it official in the small rickety bed I use after the other one was destroyed by the floods. (Not replacing the furniture was yet another failed ploy to have Harper leave).

So, there you have it, folks. This might be the last you hear from The Bachelor as a single man.

Lovers head to the bedroom
Lovers head to the bedroom
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