• Some phrases are notorious for their ability to elicit intense emotions
Diary,
Over time, some phrases have gained notoriety for their ability to elicit intense emotions in human beings. Phrases like “I love you”, “I do” or “We need to talk”.
The last one is especially heartbreaking if you think you have something good going on with someone special. If your lover says “We need to talk”, it’s never about choosing which restaurant to eat at the next time you go out or a TV network’s cancellation of your favourite programme. That statement is usually followed by other poignant maxims, such as, “I was going through your phone and…”
Such thoughts as these do keep me up at night. The idea of investing time, energy, and money into a long-term investment that can end for the simplest of reasons, like supplying the wrong answer to an elementary but trick question. “Honey, do you think my friend Jasmine is beautiful?”
If you’d like to find out if the truth can set you free, try answering “Yes” to this line of questioning (including the other gem, “Do these jeans make me look fat?”), no matter how much of a bombshell you might think Jasmine is, or whether the trousers make your girlfriend look like a hippo.
And in the case of the ladies, anything positive that comes after, “My ex-boyfriend…” It doesn’t matter that your man manages to squeeze his ex’s name into every conversation. The minute your ex comes up, so does the expiry date of your relationship.
Why am I here yapping about all this? Oh, I’ll tell you why. Today I received a text from a woman with whom I went out on one date. One date, and I got the four words that turn any lion into a cowering rain-soaked hyena:
“I missed my period.”