• The mischief of kids ends up being a lesson on the long-avoided marriage
Diary,
Today I found another reason never to have kids. I mean, we have enough spoiled brats ruining everybody’s life as it is.
Sunday is my only day off, a day to relax and recharge for the coming week. So, there I am at the estate’s community pool, taking a dip and minding my own business. I’m not practising for the Olympics, so I’m whiling away the time, mostly trending water. This brat dives into the water, swims up to me without my knowledge, pulls down my swimming shorts, surfaces and throws them at his fellow brats who disappear with it.
So, now there I am, standing in the water covering my valuables with my bare hands. Somehow, as it tends to happen in such circumstances, word goes around that there is a man in the pool wearing nothing but his birthday suit.
First to come around is a woman I think has already received her ticket to heaven. “How dare you,” she says. “Do you know other people, including children, share this pool?”
“I know,” I say. “Some of those children are the reason I am in this predicament.”
“Are you saying you came to swim naked because children swim here, too? What a pervert!”
Now a group joins her.
“My man,” I call out, “do you mind fetching my shorts? A fat kid took off with them.”
“Whose child are you calling fat?” about three women say in unison.
“Does it matter? You should teach them to be more respectful of their elders.”
“Okay, my man,” says the man. “I’ll see what—”
A mousy woman holds him by the scruff. “Daniel, if you so much as raise a finger to help this pervert, I’m never visiting your mother. Not, ever!”
The man shrugs. “I just got back to the bedroom, man. My couch is not comfortable at all.”
I had to wait until closing time when the caretaker lent me one of his overalls so I could come back home. “That’s why you need a wife,” he said. “An umbrella might be useless at times, but it comes in handy during the rainy season.”