Guilt of abortion: Oh, how I wish

Thousands of girls fall into the pregnancy trap each year

In Summary

• She was a KCSE candidate when she holidayed with her love and got a 'ball'

Image: Love heart with the image of a child

Today is her son’s third birthday. A bitter moment for her. Had she kept the baby, as per her due date, today he’d turn three.

The genesis of her predicament was when she met Jason on a Christmas Day. His mother ran a project for feeding slum families. She is smart! Her parents worked hard to get her scholarships to attend good schools. So, they had some good-natured banter, despite their diverse backgrounds.

The next year, she was in Form Four, and he was waiting to join college. He’d send her letters while she was in school. During the holiday, he took her out a couple of times. Next thing she knew, morning sickness!

“I knew it was a mistake,” she says, “but he convinced me he’d take care of the unborn child as well as myself, if anything went wrong.”

Upon seeing the signs, she borrowed a neighbour’s phone and called him. He sent her money to buy a pregnancy kit, and the test turned out positive. Once she informed him, he sent her another Sh5,000 for emergency contraceptives, and that was the last time she heard from him. He’d later get a scholarship to study in Britain.

Either it was too late or the drugs were fake. It didn’t work. The thoughts of her parents’ reaction, the struggle to raise a child and dropping out of school were daunting. So, she paid a visit to Mama Adike.

The process was gross, and the pain, excruciating. She even thought she’d die. Eventually, it got better. But the guilt has never stopped haunting her.

In hindsight, she says she wishes she even gave up the child for adoption. Or in the first place, never even treaded that path that led her there.

This story first appeared on the Campus Diary column of Sasa Digital, published Sundays on