SOCIETY TALK: Walk away or suffer in silence

Moreover, we can do it in real-time instead of weekly, like the forgotten days of magazines and tabloids. Now regular folks can share their experiences, expertise or even problems through the digital sphere.

I get all my mum tips on TikTok, my recipes on YouTube and my political news on X. As such, I often come across issues of the week or ‘trends’ being discussed by multiple people who give their individual perspectives. For the most part, the internet has been a Godsend to us, but its downsides are more problematic than we care to admit.  

At first, people would share questions, queries or problems with random strangers on the internet, and for the most part, they would receive good advice from people. Over time, social media platforms became weapons of destruction, where people would go on a rant about the awful customer service of certain places to warn future customers. But these opinions that were once used to warn have been turned into a cancel culture trick.

There is also the curse of fame. Just like the curse of reality TV and how it ruined people's lives after getting so much exposure, the people of social media run on a high that is fuelled by ‘going viral’. At some point, they stopped caring if whatever made them an overnight sensation was positive or negative. People would post videos sharing parts of their lives that would cause a stir from the audience, gaining them views.

Recently, there has been a growing trend on social media where women come to vent about their problematic marriages or bad husbands. They vent so much that they seem to be looking for a way out or helpful advice. When the viewers offer such advice on the comment section, the poster would turn around and say how wonderful their partner actually is.

Over time, the consensus amongst the audiences has shifted to, “Don't tell us about your problems if you are unwilling to do anything about it.” It was clear that these women were sharing these aspects of their lives as clickbait and to rile up the audience, only for them to turn it around and defend the wrongdoer they had been complaining about.

It reminded me of the awkward social position one is placed under when a friend confides terrible (bordering on criminal) treatment from their partners and expects you to hold their hand and coddle them but never allow you to say “leave!” I realise that friends — better yet, good friends — are there to ease your emotional burden. At some point, by unburdening ourselves to others, we in turn burden them with heavy problems, where they can't freely share solutions or their personal opinions. If this is the case, everyone should get a therapist to go vent instead of being a burden to others.

I have made that mistake once, too. A friend came to me at random, after many years of having little contact, asking for a good place to confide in. Having faced domestic violence in a faraway country, she felt alone and I helped by providing a safe space to talk.

However, it bothers my spirit to see this person returning to the same partner who put her in the emergency room. Yet when we speak, we do not mention these facts. We talk about her family like I am not burdened with the thoughts of her being harmed at any given time.  

There are people who have been physically taken away from their situations only for them to walk straight back into them, willingly! I'm sorry to sound insensitive but if one is facing serious criminal activities from their partner and is unwilling to do anything about it, please do not bother the rest of us with your problems. Suffer in silence, sister.