- I suddenly fell ill this week . . . it was the first time I was ill away from my parents as a mother.
- I realised then, that I was really alone and far from home. I wanted to call my mother for medicines, I wanted my father to take my son so I could rest.
One of my favourite K-Dramas of all time is a show called Hi, Bye Mama! It is the story of a woman who died in childbirth but could not bear to leave her baby behind. So instead of moving on, she stayed back as a ghost to watch over her child. Until one day, she came back to life. Everyone was shocked by her return as they could not figure out what happened.
As it turns out, it was the woman’s mother who prayed day and night to have her daughter back, even if it was to say goodbye. You see, as the younger woman was obsessed about protecting her child even in death; her own mother was overwhelmed by her own grief and could not live without seeing her child one more time. In her excitement of being a mother, she had almost forgotten that she too was someone else's child.
I think most of us ‘forget’ about being daughters when we become mothers. We are so consumed with our new role as parents that we often forget what it's like to be the child in the relationship. Once we become mothers we automatically become givers and carers of others that we often forget how to receive, to be taken care of and to be the object of someone else’s worry.
I suddenly fell ill this week, while it’s not the first time I have been sick since I became a mother, it was the first time I was ill away from my parents as a mother. Whenever I was sick at home, I had a few people on deck to help with my child or to fuss over me.
However, this was the first time my husband and I were truly alone with our child while I was down. You see, while my husband cares for our child and spends a lot of time with him, I am the primary caregiver and caretaker of everyone and everything in our home.
I fell sick in the afternoon on the one day my husband travelled out of town for work. I could barely move through the pain. While I waited for him to come back, I still had to watch my hyperactive son through the pain and minute passouts.
I realised then, that I was really alone and far from home. I wanted to call my mother for medicines, I wanted my father to take my son so I could rest. I wanted their constant fussing over me as I lay in bed waiting to heal without worrying about my own child. At that moment, I simply wanted to be a daughter once more.