The year is 2009. Anne Waichigo has not had her period for three months, yet they had previously been regular. She decides to see a doctor just to make sure everything is okay.
What she thought would be a regular check-up turns out to be the beginning of a nightmare, as the doctor diagnoses her with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS).
“I did not understand what that was and asked the doctor if it was a death sentence. He said it wasn’t, but said many women with the disorder suffer from infertility.”
The doctor prescribed drugs to help with the condition and advised her to get on with having children as soon as possible.
Anne was not yet married. She had been dating her boyfriend Jackson Kamau, a gospel deejay, better known as DJ Soxxy, for two years.
The two are born-again Christians, but with a ticking clock, Anne sat Jackson down and told him that he either had to marry her immediately, or give her a baby, because she did not have much time left.
This did not sit well with Jackson. For one, Jackson’s faith could not allow him to have a child out of wedlock. Secondly, despite their having dated for two years, he said he was not yet ready to marry Anne yet.
With that, the two broke up and did not speak for two months.
After re-evaluating the situation, Anne decided to reach out to Jackson and they made up. Anne warned Jackson that she might not be able to have children once they got married.
“My husband is the kind of man whose mind you can never read. Whether there is something bad or good that has happened, he always keeps a straight face and calm demeanour. He told me not to worry about children because they are a gift from God and he was not marrying me because of children.”
With that, Jackson and Anne tied the knot on June 18, 2011. Anne kept thinking about the infertility report she was given a few years back and nudged Jackson, telling him they should immediately start trying for a baby.
But Jackson was not for it. “He said we should at least enjoy our marriage for a year first.”
Around the seventh month of their marriage, the two decided to try for a baby. And try they did, for two years.
Anne visited a doctor, Dr Amal, who was reassuring and put Anne on fertility pills. The drugs came with their own side-effects. Anne would get emotional over small issues.
“I remember there was a day I had taken a matatu to Ngong Road and the driver passed my stop and I just started crying, asking him why he would do that.”
At home, the frustrations of trying to have a child took a toll on the young couple’s marriage. “I was frustrated from trying everything to get pregnant and my husband bore the brunt of that frustration. I kept thinking I was less of a woman because I couldn’t do one of the primary functions of a woman — have a baby.”
At the beginning of 2013, Anne decided to let her dream of being a mother die. “It was one of my resolutions. I sat with my husband and said that we would not discuss anything to do with babies from then on. I would just focus on other areas of my life.”
And that she did.
CONCEPTION AT LAST
In December 2013, while driving back home from work, Anne all of a sudden felt nauseated. “I had to stop for a while. I felt like vomiting, but nothing was coming out.”
Anne stopped by a clinic and wondered whether she should buy a pregnancy test. “I hesitated at first. I thought of all the times I had bought pregnancy tests and they turned out negative. There was a time I would spend close to half of my salary buying sophisticated pregnancy tests from Australia — the ones that can detect pregnancy on the very day of conception. I was desperate.”
Nonetheless, Anne decided to get two pregnancy tests without expectation. “I said I will get the cheapest test this time, even for Sh20 bob if it was available, because I wasn’t going to spend my money this time and raise my hopes for nothing.”
When she went home and did the test, it turned positive. “I was like, this cannot be real, so I quickly took the other test and it turned out positive, too.”
When Jackson arrived home, Anne displayed the pregnancy sticks on the table for Jackson to see.
“As usual, Jackson with his poker face, he didn’t express anything. All he said is: ‘Are these yours?’ I was like, seriously, would I just go and get somebody’s pregnancy tests and display them?”
Anne continues: “Jackson asked again how it happened. I said I didn’t know either.”
But having gone through all she had, Anne still decided to get a second opinion to make sure she was really pregnant.
But since Dr Amal had travelled for the holidays, she had to seek out whichever doctor was available.
“I took myself for a pregnancy scan without a referral. When I reached there, the attendant asked if I had been referred and I said no. I just wanted a scan,” she says.
“The doctor did not do any test. He just touched my tummy and said I was five weeks pregnant. I didn’t believe him.”
When Dr Amal returned, she went to see him and he did the same thing and gave the same report. “He just touched my belly and said I was indeed pregnant.”
God had finally answered Anne’s prayers. Anne’s pregnancy was a delicate one. Because of PCOS, her blood pressure was much higher than normal. Anne carried her baby for 38 weeks and when it came time to deliver, she laboured for 14 hours before the doctors decided it would be safer for her to undergo a C-section.
On August 7, 2014, Eliana Wambui was born. Anne felt complete.
Because of undergoing a C-section, the doctors advised her to wait at least two years before trying for a second baby.
“Because of the PCOS, we figured it would take a long time to get pregnant again, so we decided to just start trying early so that by the time the two years are up, perhaps I would be pregnant.”
But she conceived the first time she tried.
“My doctor wondered what was wrong with me after he had advised me to wait. I just didn’t think it would happen so fast.”
In July 2016, Anne and Jackson welcomed a baby boy named Ethan Wambage.
Anne says she has learnt to take every trial as a lesson.
“Only God knows your future. Sometimes you go through a situation and think it will be permanent, but it is just a season that is meant to teach us something. Whether it is hoping for a baby or unemployment, we need to take the lesson for that season.”
Anne also cautions people who make hurtful (sometimes unintentionally) remarks to women who have not had children after some years in a marriage.
“There were people who would say they were getting tired of waiting to see a baby. Yet they did not know how much we were struggling to get a child.”
She continues: “There are also couples who have one child and are trying for a second one and people around them ask when they will give the child a brother or sister, yet they are trying with no results. We should be careful what remarks we make to women about children.”
Anne says her children are calm. “It’s like God decided that since we went through so much trying to have children, He has made sure we have an easy time raising them. None of my children had colic. They are peaceful.”
She has not had any problems with house helps from hell either. “We have only had three house helps since Eliana was born. I hear of people who have had up to 25 house helps.”
On being married to a celebrity, Anne says she has learnt to let Jackson interact with fans without getting intimidated.
“At first it used to bother me. There are some fans, especially female fans, who do not know boundaries. They would step up to us and I am right there and start hugging Jackson like they are long-lost friends yet they had just met. I used to tell him I will not be able to know if he was cheating because he is just too friendly with everyone,” she says.
“But I have realised that that is part of what he does and he has really assured me that I am the only one, that I am the one for him. Jackson is a friendly guy. So these days when fans crowd around him, I’ll just let them interact with him and walk ahead.”
Anne has nothing but praise for Jackson. She says he is a real partner in marriage and in raising their children.
Anne has two tattoos on her right hand. One on her upper arm is a rose with a label written ‘Waichigo’. That is her late father’s name. Initially, the label was to have her then boyfriend’s name, but she decided against it.
The second tattoo is an infinity sign and the names of her children —Eliana and Ethan and the Bible verse 1 Samuel 1:17-18, which talks about children being a gift.
Anne says she does not see anything wrong with having tattoos even as a born-again Christian. “The people who condemn them cannot even quote the Bible verse that is against them.”
Anne concludes by saying she is enjoying motherhood and that is why her social media pages are filled with pictures of her family. “There are people who say I am flaunting my children and yes, I am. I waited so long to have them and I am proud of them in a good way. There is nothing wrong with that.”
About PCOS
Polycystic ovarian syndrome, PCOS, is a condition in which a woman’s levels of the sex hormones estrogen and progesterone are out of balance.
This leads to the growth of ovarian cysts (benign masses on the ovaries). PCOS can cause problems with a women’s menstrual cycle, fertility, cardiac function, and appearance.
Common symptoms include:
-Irregular periods or no periods at all
-Difficulty getting pregnant
-Excessive hair growth – usually on the face, chest and back
-Weight gain
-Thinning hair
-Acne
The exact cause of PCOS is unknown, but it is thought to be related to abnormal hormone levels.
PCOS cannot be cured, but the symptoms can be managed.
Adapted from www.nhs.uk