Depending on a lot of things, your definition of love might be any, or several of the following. An overpowering dreamy state, a death wish brought about by the need for commitment and monogamy, an unattainable condition owing to financial inadequacies, a condition of slavery due to the requirement to constantly impress a particularly insatiable individual or a thrilling adventure – exactly what you need. It could also be the cause of all misery or the cause of all happiness. Either way, it had a lot to do with the past week and weekend. I can’t speak for everyone but as a member of the designated weaker sex, I have to say that Valentine’s Day is one of those days when that title is very rewarding. It’s almost as if you can control the entire year with this one day.
Of course if you belong to the other sex, it’s a different story altogether. You do not have such luxury. And to redeem yourself, your options are very limited, namely to meet every expectation. You buy the jewels, book expensive hotel suites, plan tedious proposals, read your lady’s mind and buy an appropriate gift. If you had bad luck, and you had the unfortunate incidence of being yoked with a particularly demanding or ungrateful one, getting the last one wrong left you at a very bad place. How many times has February 14 brought you back from your fairy tale with the harsh reality that it is mid-month? Perhaps you have even asked yourself if there is any other way to experience love minus the expectations.
Well, you might want to know that you are living in a world where everything is commercialised – even love and satisfaction can be sold. No Valentine’s goodies, no commitments whatsoever. If you can find your way to Japan, there is a great way of having civil human relationships that also double up as business transactions. All you need to do is be petrified and undesiring of relationships that demand unwavering commitment and consumption of all your attention. What are called host and hostess bars over there are licensed just to eliminate your fears. This particular establishment is a den of working class individuals, who confess that they see no need to have a normal girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. Instead, they pay the host or hostess a tonne of money to flirt and talk. If you crave physical contact, some little cuddling time with a stranger should do it. Believe it or not, there are professional cuddlers who engage you in some emotionless cuddling. For a little extra, you get your cuddler dressed up as your fantasy while he or she cleans your ears or stares at you. I know it sounds like nonsense, but it’s a million-dollar industry over there.
But then, if no human being is perfect enough for you, there is no marketplace for fake perfection bigger than the Internet. Cyberspace has allowed shy, kinky individuals to get expressive. I’m just glad that despite all the oddities, people around the world are engaging in ‘we are a class apart’. Even our rapid increase in population can attest. So I have a feeling I will be seeing you next Valentine.
