•Ego bruises lead men to some irrationality that beats comprehension. Toxic masculinity evokes entitled feelings toward women and their bodies.
•Kuna jamaa alisema spending money on a girl creates feelings of entitlement. That the woman now ‘belongs to him’ and should therefore not fraternize with others.
Imekuwa a month since we uploaded the really awesome #Najali conversations on YouTube. Have you had a chance to watch them?
I recently went back to watch them and Episode two stayed with me. In Episode 2, tulienda mtaani with Daddy Marto and Jean Paul (from Equality Now) and had a really candid conversation on Gender-based violence.
Jean Paul ni wakili so he schooled me on the actual definition of GBV. Alinishow that Gender based violence is an umbrella term used to describe harmful acts directed at an individual based on their gender.
Alisema it can include sexual, physical, mental and economic harm inflicted either in public or private. So basically, ukichapa wife kwa hao, hio ni GBV. Ukilazimisha dame kumkuta by force, hio ni GBV. Dame akitembea mtaani na machali wabase wakimchokoza, hio ni GBV.
Kwa hivyo, GBV is not a grey issue. It is pretty evident that it is harmful and that it is wrong. Lakini, why is it still happening and why do we find it difficult to intervene when we see it taking place?
Niliuliza majamaa kama wanaeza ingilia ngori ya watu wawili, when GBV is taking place. Some of them said no and qualified it as a private complex issue.
Mmoja alisema kuingilia ni tricky juu hio ngori inaeza turn on you. That marital or relationship issues are complicated and the better option is to let two people handle them. Mwingine alisema ataingilia only kama it is very serious. Mwingine alisema ataintervene na kama mbaya mbaya!
From the conversation, it became more apparent that GBV begins as an exertion of power and strength before it gets to the physical act of abuse. Tuliongea kuhusu rejection and how men take it.
Ego bruises lead men to some irrationality that beats comprehension. Toxic masculinity evokes entitled feelings toward women and their bodies.
Kuna jamaa alisema spending money on a girl creates feelings of entitlement. That the woman now ‘belongs to him’ and should therefore not fraternize with others.
Can we be honest and address the fragility in our egos that lead us to harm and assault other human beings? Watu wengi huhusianisha ukiume na utawala usio na huruma, ukatili, au kiburi cha kiume. Masculinity ni kujali.
Wakili Jean Paul aliingilia na mapoint za nguvu. Alisema maboyz hawa appreciate kuwa GBV is a crime. Your response should be the same as when you see someone being robbed. Even if you feel like you can’t intervene, you can sound the alarm.
He told us about the 1195 hotline that we can use. Reporting is a great first step because the authorities can intervene and if you can, give evidence in court.
He also talked about how we need to move away from objectifying women and see them as human beings worthy of respect. Cat-calling women and using derogatory words to describe them is not just disrespect but is also indicative of our lack of self-respect.
In a few months, tutaskia story za 16 days of activism against GBV. Inatake place every year from November 25 to December 10. Sisi kama majamaa, let’s challenge GBV. Beshte yako akikushow alichapa dame, call him out msee.
Kuwa mwanamume ni kusema #Najali and making sure we support the fight against GBV. Ukweli ni sisi majamaa ndio perpetrators of GBV 90 per cent of the time-this fight cannot be fought without us deciding to be better.