Society has set parameters for a man that have a great impact. A man should be strong, and this means that he cannot cry. He is meant to withstand pressure.
As a result we are losing many young men to mental health disorders such as depression. They don’t want to speak out because they feel they have to be strong, as expected of a man. Depression eats them up until they have no hope for tomorrow. This, in many instances, has led to people terminating their lives.
Men, like women, have feelings and should not be judged when they express themselves. We have encountered statements such as “Why cry when you are a man?”. This is wrong, especially if it comes from those close to a person or even loved ones.
This is a time to show love and support. Let them know that it’s okay to break down. It’s normal to be overwhelmed. We can only be human if we appreciate the men around us.
Societal placement of a man as the breadwinner is another cause for mental health disorder. This is however slowly changing, with women stepping up as breadwinners. As a family, it is of the essence when you offer each other a hand in times of financial crisis.
Finances get depleted and that’s when a man is really abused for not performing his duties. They are then compared to other men who are doing better. This might be happening in the presence of the children and is the worst feeling to a man.
How do you feel when you are rejected as a man? Do you own it and realise that you are not everyone’s favourite? Rejection is just a way of saying, you are better off without me. It’s not meant to define you.
But men don’t take rejection lightly. They want to fight their way only to get hit and hurt more. A situation may not be of their making but they are afraid of the names they will be branded; a result of societal expectations. When things aren’t working your way, take a break and refocus. As a man, you aren’t meant to always win. Losing is part of winning.
As partners, we must learn to appreciate and know that just like a road, life has bends. It has its low and highs. How best can we cope with many different situation that present themselves in our lives? Always take a break, go for a walk or talk with friends whenever you feel lonely or low. With great support and avoiding being judgemental, we stand a chance of better mental health.
As a man, brace yourself and walk through that storm of "they will say this and that", put aside what society hopes for from you. You have a life to live as an individual.
Lastly, it's good practice to frequently seek mental check-ups. You never know when you are a victim. Set time aside from your usual activities for the wellness of your body, mind and soul.
Communication and public relations practitioner
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