It is the new year and ladies, let us take control of our lives. Things cannot just be happening to us while we grin like lizards and clasp our hands.
They say you can change your mind when presented with new information. I have been presented with new information and I have changed my mind. Today I want to tell you this, check (clap) your (clap) man's (clap) phone (clap). Better to cry now than regret later.
A woman posted on the socials how she went through her man's phone and it helped her move on. She found out her man was sleeping with 20 women! (but some of you are goats, yani mbuzi yawa)
She also discovered that he was deeply in debt. Obviously, he has 20 women outside plus a wife. When will men realise that women cost money? And that the wrong woman/women will have you haemorrhaging legal tender.
With all this new information, she decides to go for a full medical check. She has an STI. No surprise there. Now had she not checked that phone, she would be giving another story five years from now.
I have always said do not check a man's phone in order to live a happy life. This was wrong information owada. Ignorance is not always bliss. It is a time bomb waiting to happen. The reality is, by the time you feel you need to check a man's phone, you know he is doing sneaky stuff.
So checking to confirm may be what you need to take necessary action. Action that could literally save your life. Let us agree, if you want to check, accept that there is already a problem. And you will find the problem. You will probably cry or throw yourself to the ground.
Do what you must, but do not kill yourself or anybody. But better to cry now than maybe die, painfully, later.
I have been seeing women posting about domestic staff not coming back to work. Posts of calls going unanswered, fare being 'eaten', etc.
I do not know why you are so dependent on someone you pay a salary. Pay someone else. She cannot be such a good person if the minute she leaves your house you must beg her to come back. Kwani she was in prison? There are very many people looking for jobs, my friend. Many who may even do a better job at less what you are paying that one. Stop being attached to toxic employees. Accept their decision and move on.
Then there are the friends. Women, we are always told how we are the 'lucky' gender. We can talk to each other, we keep friends forever and we tell each other anything and everything and we are together no matter what.
Most of these relationships are abusive. Not physically, but emotionally. Most of these so-called 'tight' friendships have no boundaries. Some women just assume because we both have breasts that I should agree with any crazy idea of friendship you have. They do not respect your family, your time or your business/employment. Ati 'she is there for me through anything'.
Listen, we are all adults here. I cannot accept any behaviour in the name of being your friend. You must learn boundaries, you must be able to manage yourself and no person should be at your beck and call when you feel you are going through something. Everyone is going through something.
Part of being an adult is realising that we do not have to care about what you think is important. Stop burdening people unnecessarily just so that you can feel like they care. We are not psychiatrists. See a professional.
As women, we have been socialised to fear taking control. It is often described as being dramatic. And men do not like drama. Or arrogance, who will want to work with or for you? Sometimes stuck up, hence the few friends. I have however discovered, it is better not to suffer twice.
Take control of your own life and see what peace you have. You did not make it through everything you have been through to get to 2022 to be here for people’s amusement. Duck that.
