FELGONAH OYUGA: Current crop of men oh so boring

Have men always been this boring? Or have we reached the age where the scales have fallen off our eyes and now we can see clearly? Before my team of haters starts calling me single and bitter, the same is true for married women. We are all looking around and wondering if there are more men under the present heap of jokers.

This pandemic has seen very many people wonder what they are doing in and with their lives, does it have meaning in this living business? Are these people we have chosen to walk with our people? Or did we just pick what was there and run?

We have had the time to slow down and really figure things out. This has seen a rise in physical separation. I say physical because many had already gone separate ways emotionally and did not even know it amidst all the noise.

So we now have the new singles, that used to be single but were in a relationship but now are single for real. (Read that slowly if you must)

This is the scenario. For women after thinking they wasted their good years with the men they married or were in a long-term relationship with, they are not interested in wasting more time. They are levelling up. Going back to school, starting businesses, adopting babies, travelling etc.

For some men, they were working and pursuing careers so they are not doing too badly on that front. They have newfound freedom and they still want to think they are young because they are still standing unaided. In this youthful thinking, they still think women care.

At this point my brothers, I would like you to just humble yourselves and listen.

Listen, when you were in college or just newly working, women wanted to get married. So it was not hard for you to get women. I know you think it was you. It was never about you. You got, rather agreed to get married and had the odd affairs with young girls on the side. You thought you still had it.

You had money you stupid potato. That is what the young girls wanted, so they made you think you could really get it on. You then went back home and your wife was giving you some wild type sex and whimpering and screaming even before you touched her.

Again, my demented friend, you thought it was your prowess. Well, she had discovered your young girls and the things you were asking them to do to you. So she went online or to the sex aunty. Do you get it now?

Now here you are, over forty, single and deluded. Thinking you are some sort of sex god. Trying to approach women with “when I get you, I am going to rearrange your insides!”

Listen, old man, the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:11 “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." You need to shed away this childish thinking, by now you should know that your superpower is not sex, my friend, it never was.

Many men are always asking women what they bring to the table besides sex. I want to know what many men bring to the table beyond bad sex and monetary compensation for the ordeal they put women through.

Someone, a man, said they are just happy jumping in and out of women. That is his prerogative and we would not like to take away any little happiness he can make for himself. But, if you are going to date your age, I suggest you broaden your mind just a little bit. Try engaging a grown woman differently. How about intellectually? (Not recommended for lazy men)

While it is true that we are at our sexual peak in our 40s upwards, we did not leave our brains behind, we are not interested in just being humped because you have a penis. In fact, now, we insist on a quality man otherwise, what is the point?

Someone might as well tell me where I can buy dildos in containers. I see a big market in the future. Near future.