Let us start looking across our borders more for mates my dear women. This place has become too ghetto-like. We will not manage in front here.
I was listening to a friend tell me about a man in her house who will not leave. Apparently, he has nowhere to go (I do not know why that is her problem). He is stuck in his glory days, which were years ago.
In those days he was the king and people wanted to hear what he had to say. Not anymore. Now he and many men like him are online abusing women who they do not know personally because other men give them things and money. Yet he is in a woman's house. Squatting. Waiting for food as her children do. From her. Awuoro!
I am just trying to figure out where the rain started beating us.
I will talk about the men in my age group for obvious reasons. So the ones we went to school with. Not bad schools and it is not worth mentioning the names of the school because we did not have a say on which schools we attended. But the men who were in school with us seem to be stuck in time. Majority.
You will know them by their clothes and talk. Baggy shirts, baggy jeans or denim shorts that reach somewhere between the knee and the calf. Socks pulled up, sneakers and some cap. These ones know everything. They just need a chance to be president. They will change the world I swear. It is just bad luck, otherwise, he can run this country, to prosperity.
If his wife has not left him, she is the breadwinner. Usually a very hardworking girl from a good home. The beer he is drinking, she gave him money for that. The car is hers. But he still has the audacity to cheat on her. He is often abusive to his wife, physical or emotional or all. If she left him, he is back home in his mother's house. His mother is his enabler. He is looking for another independent woman so he can waste her time too. Chances of alcohol-related complications, fatal even, are very high.
There is the other type who came to Nairobi to go to university. A hard worker this one but the chip on his shoulder? He has a need to be seen. He is like a child who has been ignored by his mother. As I said, he works hard. Climbs the ladder pretty quickly, because he is a good person. Dresses well. Actually even over dresses. (like a peacock) Everything is over the top. His house, his car. He will take a good city girl for a wife.
But the chip will not let him prosper. He suffers some self-inflicted low self-esteem. He will meet many good women, but he will cheat on them with the most ratchet ones. Young, old, fat, thin and anything in between. He does not discriminate. He seems to be looking for something inside vaginas.
By the way, this guy will do a lot for his family, his village mates and his peers. But what he is looking for between women’s legs will almost always end up with him going back to his village in a coffin.
Yesterday my friend sent me a meme that had a book titled How to date buildings. I had earlier seen another of someone threatening to run off to the mountains and date bushes and shrubs. This is where we have reached. Men turning women off completely we do not even care for coitus.
Before we completely give up, maybe we should go to Zambia or Madagascar?
In other news, why do men think sex with them is the most exciting thing that can happen to a woman? I have said it here before, do men really know what it is like to sleep with them? If they did, they would not be announcing it like it was a special once in a lifetime treat.
Anyway, who am I kidding? Forget Zambia and Madagascar. Let us familiarise ourselves with buildings and shrubs. I suspect the disappointMENt in those other countries just speaks in a foreign accent.
