I once said that old men should simply stop having babies with much younger women but I have since realised it is not as easy as just saying stop.
Covid 19 brought with it a lot. A whole lot. We gained a new dependency on technology, we realised we did not actually have to be in an office from 8am to 5pm to be productive and many realised they married people they had nothing in common with. Twenty years too late.
As a result, we have seen a rising number of divorce and separations.
Many men over 50 years old have found themselves as senior albeit new bachelors. Not knowing if teaspoons are bought separately or if they come with tea leaves.
In this time of readjusting, he has found himself leaning on (literally more often than not) the young woman who cleans his house or the jolly barmaid who is always happy to see him. Because he tips of course. But let us just say because he is a handsome man.
I understand that they get pretty lonely and apparently it is not easy to talk about their feelings with their mates. I find this hard to believe though. I mean if you can tell your mate your ex is a witch from hell and details of her vagina as compared to all the other women you have ducked, you surely can tell them you are not coping with living alone.
Anyway, on one of your vulnerable nights, you meet a bubbly waitress who 'serves' you well (as if she would have a job if she served you any other way). One thing leads to another and now the 24-year-old is your girlfriend.
She is in your house cooking and cleaning and playing Amapiano music. But listen. Just because your kids are her agemates does not mean she does not want children.
Her mother and or friends have already formed a kitchen cabinet. You look like a person of means. You are over 50, have a fairly decent car. You are not paying fees so everyone assumes you have some disposable cash. Besides, you spend most of your time at your local or at the members club. The kitchen cabinet thinks their girl has hit the jackpot!
Next order of business, project baby. And she gets pregnant fast.
You are 59. Your baby is born. The nurse congratulates you on the birth of your grandchild. How did you get here?
Suddenly you are changing diapers and giving night feeds. When you first had your older children, it was their mother's business. All baby matters. Now people take turns. You can barely even see the baby because your eyesight is not what it used to be and you cannot remember where you left your glasses.
You are permanently on diaper and formula runs to the supermarket or going to the clinic for one special shot or another. Babies these days cost an arm and a leg.
You have to go back to work. Serious work. For another 20 years. How else will you pay school fees? If you do not become senile or die first. Thoughts that you entertain.
Listen, old timer. I know things are difficult. You are so used to having a mate and you want a new one. Here is an idea, look for an age appropriate woman. Hanging around one that is young enough to be your child does not make you younger. The things you think a woman your age cannot do, you cannot do either without swallowing the pill we all know will get you to your grave earlier. Unless death by sex is a fantasy you want to fulfill.
The young woman might be thrilling now but it usually becomes hellish fast. One, you cannot keep a girl in her most fertile years without children. It is unfair to her. And kids with her at your age is unfair to you, your older children who will probably have to educate your rugrats and finally most unfair to those kids you birth late in life as you will really be more of a grandfather than a father to them.
I really do not understand why most men just seem to enjoy choosing hard paths.