You know the way they say advice can come from any quarters? Well, today I am ‘any quarters’ and I would like to talk to the older gentlemen. Can I call you uncles?
I have been watching, like so many others, and seeing you fumbling and it has stopped being funny: It is now embarrassing.
First things first uncle nani…, I know you want to be 20 for the rest of your life. But your are not. I am not saying live a boring life past a certain age, I am saying live an age appropriate life. Listen, I want to think you have collected enough wisdom over the years. Wait, then I would not be writing this article.
Let me start over and hear me out. You need to date women according to your status in life. Think when deciding whatever form of relationship you desire. Some of you have worked hard your whole lives (walking 15km to and from school, barefoot and sometimes across rivers, maybe even chased by hyenas once or twice) for something – a position, career only to have it torn down by a two second video or a frivolous lawsuit.
All because you may have wanted to prove to your friends and yourself that you “still have it”. My friend, you do not.
You cannot duck like you used to when you were 20 years. Those girls just know how to act because they are after one thing, and they want it quickly.
Get a woman or women (I advise that you cap it at an even number) who is mature enough and appreciates what is at stake for both of you.(You do not want to learn what ‘trending’ is the day your credentials are hanging out). Please do not tell me, “But did you see her?”
You are not a goat. You can see and even admire but know it is not for you and keep it moving. Not everything that can be done is worth doing. (pun)
My uncles, stop telling women you want them to have one last baby for you. Some women actually take you seriously and for that, I blame their mothers, but I need someone to explain to me why a man with grown up children wants a baby. Is one of your fantasies being senile when your retirement baby is a teenager? What is wrong with you? You are almost dying. Why do you want to start a new life?
After you have got the woman you think you can manage a relationship with, please bring the wisdom we expect from an older man. You cannot have lived for so long to start telling women nonsense things.
“I want us to explore!” What haven't you seen yawa? King Solomon said, “There is nothing new under the sun” You are too old to be a duck boy.
The way I see it, you cannot be trying to waste women’s time. You know better than that. Be useful.
You can also not want to date your children’s agemates, especially if you just want to explore and not provide any future for her. It is selfish.
An old man, who had long retired, met a young woman, agemates with his first born.
Having retired, his days were spent doing retirement stuff such as attending meetings that add no monetary value except to keep one occupied. He had his home. Churchgoing wife. Grown children.
The young woman, on the other hand, was trying to make something out of her life. She had goals to reach, children to raise and memories to create. He expected her to drop everything to spend time with him. You know, slow things down.
But she wanted to make her own mark, live on the first lane. Eat life with a big spoon. When she was in his world, she was bored almost to death. When he was in her world he was stimulated almost to death.
They say an old cat still drinks milk, but the way I see it, many men in their quest to remain young inconvenience a lot of people.
