Playing boo boo the fool unbecoming

Why a married man who has a baby mama, or three, a slay queen he is inboxing on Instagram, is friends with benefits to six women and might be a priest, will still look at you minding your business and come up with ways to waste your time should be the subject of a thesis.

There is this story. This might not be how it happened word for word because we are outsiders looking in but because of experience, one can tell where the rain started beating.

A woman meets a charming man. He has a good command of the English language and has an important job. Charming man is so sad. He says his wife is a relation of the devil. The woman feels sorry. He can be so much better, she thinks to herself, with the right support. Her support. The woman goes about her project. Makes man super shiny. Man will love her and be loyal to her.

The charming man is just himself, continues to attract more clowns, I mean women. He does not discriminate. The woman cannot take the humiliation. How can she have done all this work and this is the mother ducking thanks she gets? Woman throws tantrum hoping man will get humiliated. No chance of that.

We have all gone through this or similar, maybe even worse. If you think you have not, you are probably in the thick of things. The tragedy is in the repetition. At some point, you need to stop putting on the clown get up.

Let me share some telltale signs you are being groomed to be boo boo the fool.

I have said before when a man loves you, he will protect you, even if it means lying to you. The fact that a man is open with you about his wife or girlfriend is because he needs to manage your expectations and manage you in public to protect the other relationship.

Read it again.

The one who does not know about you, the one in ignorant bliss, that is who he cares for. Manage yourself boo boo.

You meet a guy and the first thing is a sob story about his wife. She mistreats him for nothing. My question is always, “Why can’t you carry your heavy bones out of there?” If your first instinct is to try and ‘save’ him from his wife, be careful, the suit you are pulling on is not a superhero suit.

My mother used to say never talk ill of a wife until you have lived with a man. Any man. They are not easy to live with, my friend. Stop shouting all over the place how his wife is this or that yet she is the one in his house eating his food while you are out here ‘growing’ him. Bure sana.

Not everyone who comes in the name of the Lord cares for your soul. They usually get in and out because you fear to question anything in Jesus name. Especially the ones given some walking sticks or those who show muscles. Run, my sister. They will start with praise God early in the morning and then quickly degenerate to trying to make you a domestic worker. “When are you cooking for me?”

Next thing you will be, as someone said, a motivational speaker. At your age, growing up in our great land, you went to Sunday School, learnt CRE in school for 12 years, was in Christian Union, is there an update on the gospel? You have already made up your mind which side you are on, stop drinking from these shallow wells that preach the gospel of Sodom and Gomorrah.

My dad said if a man bounces a date, does not communicate ahead of time that he will not come or will be late, this is a man not to be taken seriously. These days a bugger will just leave a woman hanging. Even for months. Then appear with a cock and bull story of how his grandmother on his clande’s side died or how work is driving him up the wall he does not even have 30 seconds to send you a text. If a man is interested, you do not need to send him 400-word chats educating him on your worth as a 21st century independent woman.

Stop being that man’s biggest advocate every time he cocks up at your expense. You are now too big for the clown suit, respect your ancestors and yourself.

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