I’m only trying to help, that’s all

You always marry a person you know. You may refuse to accept who they are, but you always know who they are. Now whether you know and accept or just choose to know and hope for the best, is up to you. What I have a problem with is you harassing everyone with your mental illness as a result of your decisions.

A woman will marry a man she knows likes variety. In most cases you were one of the variety but you ran a good race and thought you won the trophy when you were the one walked down the aisle. From the honeymoon he was being himself and he does not look like he has plans to change in the near future. So you take matters into your own hands.

Confronting women in Nairobi and surrounding areas. Sending all numbers you do not know Sh10 on M-Pesa so you can figure out the real names of your competitors . You are creative, I give you that, because sometimes you even get a watchman or random person to call a number for you to try and extract information. Your methods are expensive as they are ludicrous. Accept the bed you made and lie on it. Stop your madness, you are inconveniencing others.

Can I also add at this point that there are also women who like variety. It is not unique to men. There are men with what I call the Hosea Syndrome (Read the book of Hosea in the Bible). They marry women with extensive interests  then think they can love them into monogamy. Some men graduate to helping their co-husbands get to heaven faster to receive their judgment. They orchestrate wild productions where their partners’ interests are often found dead. How many men can you have killed surely?

You man, you marry a woman who is not “domesticated”. You knew it. She would not even wash a cup in your studio apartment (bedsitters got a name upgrade). The type who would rather watch TV than spend the afternoon washing, scrubbing and mopping. Now you want to kill her with depression because you are trying, albeit in vain, to make her what she is not.

The man you married cannot be responsible even for a cat that has nine lives. You somehow think matrimony is some sort of chamber where one walks in an irresponsible buffoon and comes out on the other side an accountable citizen.

Someone said I should stop advising ladies to be who they are, they should be willing to change in order to avoid spending the rest of their lives alone, he continued.

People can pretend to be what they are not for only so long. People see what they want to see and think it will not affect them as long as they refuse to accept.

Relationships should not be that hard please. It should also not be at the expense of your mental or physical  health. Most of these things can be avoided by acceptance of self and others.

We fear being alone so much that we literally ruin our lives by hanging on to people we have no business being with.

The person who accused me of leading women into spinsterhood with my advice finished off by asking if I was alone. I am sure he must have thought only sad lonely women give good advice. I recently shared a meme that said that I do not give advice because I think I am better, I give advice because I have done more stupid s***. I have. Thank goodness I lived to be a storyteller. Literally.

I am not trying to keep you lonely, on the contrary, I want you to have long meaningful relationships. Open your eyes and make sober decisions. Take your time, you would rather be late than in hell.

Meanwhile my son turns 15 years old in a few days. I just want to say I am proud. Beaming. Only he broke my heart by putting a picture of his girlfriend on WhatsApp. I like that we have a relationship where he can tell me about anything, girls included. He does not feel the need to hide. I drink a lot in private over our conversations though. He is still my baby, I am not ready. Happy birthday Rabet. The world needs you.

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