RELATIONSHIPS

Woman, stick to your lane

I just cannot believe the things we choose to do to each other in the name of trying to find favour with a man.

In Summary

• Listen, women, I do not care what that man has told you during coitus about all the women he has been with, the mother(s) of his children. Leave that woman/ women alone.

•  I have never understood the insecurity some women have that it is so easy to play one against the other

Relationships
Relationships

“No one rides harder for a deadbeat dad than a woman who thinks he is being denied his children”.

Women, sometimes you hold my mouth (direct translation from my mother tongue). I just cannot believe the things we choose to do to each other in the name of trying to find favour with a man.

So the story goes like this: Woman A leaves her husband for woman B. She figured she had made a mistake anyway and sometimes blessings come disguised as the other woman who wants to marry your husband and be the sole Mrs. ( Look at God! Always giving you a way to escape.) Because you cannot take a footstool from one house and make it a table in another, the husband is just himself. He does not look after his children, in fact, adds others from different quarters. These are the men who got personal tenders to fill the earth.

 

But I digress a bit. At some point along the way, woman B decides to show her love by going above and beyond the call of duty. It is not clear what situation the husband was trying to get out of, but he convinced woman B to take medication, unsolicited, to woman A’s child who has a preexisting condition. Woman B is even given the minor’s telephone number to get directions to deliver said medicines. No one has talked to Woman A. You would think the husband knows where his children live if he was a good father yes? Would you discuss a child's health with him or his parents?

Anyway, turns out the medicines have been used previously and the child is not even in need of them.

Listen, women, I do not care what that man has told you during coitus about all the women he has been with, the mother(s) of his children, or even his own mother. Leave that woman/ women alone. Leave her children alone. We need to get to a point where we use emotional intelligence. After a certain age, you cannot claim love or dickmatization, those are your personal struggles.

This is a story that could have easily gone left because a woman was too lazy to think. How do you take medication that has been tampered with to a minor without consent from the present parent? I really wonder about some adults sometimes.

Even if the medicine was sealed, why are you giving a child medication without talking to the primary caregiver? What if the child took the medication and had a reaction, allergic or otherwise. What would you have said you were trying to do? Yes, you have been ‘sent’ by the absent parent who is not even sure of directions to where the child lives, would he know the true state of the child's health?

Dear woman, do not even take food. Children can get food poisoning or allergic reactions and then suddenly you are a ritualist. (I hope you are not) We have delivery services, everyone in Nairobi has a boda boda guy. Do not deny young men gainful employment because you want your presence felt. If that man cares about his children, you would know without having to be told or used as a messenger. These ones who need a lot of fanfare around anything that involves looking after their kids are bad actors.

As if that is not enough trouble, you call a minor without adult supervision. I am not an expert but the only adults who call children and not want their parents to know are child molesters.

 

I have never been able to understand the insecurity some women have that it is so easy to play one against the other. You cannot be a better mother to another woman's children. This is not the Brady bunch. If you are really interested in your boyfriend or husband's children, approach them through their mother if your intentions are legitimate. Otherwise, stick to the business that took you there. You are the only one impressed by the deadbeat’s theatrics.

Do not get me wrong, some families manage to blend and build a new unit. It does not, however, happen overnight nor does it happen because after being a mother for two minutes, you think you know everything. It also helps if there are no deadbeats in the equation. So before you carry your body fat to go harass other people's existence, do everyone a favour and really examine a situation before you walk into hell or a criminal case, unbaited.

[email protected]