BODY FUNCTIONS

Love stinks sometimes, live with it

Let us stop bullying women because of normal body functions.

In Summary
  • Women go through it too. You wake up next to your Prince Charming and his breath makes your eyes tear.
  • I am yet to find a woman who used this as an excuse to ‘run away’.

Someone said they do not ask for marriage advice from African women because it involves suffering.

We laughed at the tweet, not because it was funny, but because it is true. If we did not laugh, we might have cried.

‘It be your own people’ the cliche goes.

Before the tweet had sunk in, another woman decided to share a video of a woman admonishing women whose husbands did not want to stay at home even during this pandemic.

Listen, the man, grown and legally sane as far as we know, does not want to stay at home but we find a way to blame a woman for not maybe tying him to her bed or casting a spell that immobilises him.

 
 
 

The video woman said men were not staying at home mainly because women were smelling.

Yes, I also had a ‘facepalm’ moment. Apparently, women who had given birth were walking around with breast milk stains on their clothes.

She also added that others who she decided were not showering or shaving their down there were the reason some men would rather battle corona than their funk.

We really need to stop this nonsense. First of all, I am not a medical anything. All my medical knowledge has been gathered from various places except medical school.

But I can tell you this, sometimes the smell is not because you do not bathe, sometimes you need medication. Sometimes it is from that man who wants to run away.

They contribute to changes in your body and maybe you both need medication. If you are exchanging body fluids and one of you has a smell from the privates, just see a doctor, both of you.

If you have lived with a human being, you know they do not always smell fresh. Whatever fluid comes from a human being's body smells. You are bound to manage it when you see each other once a week when everyone is doused in cologne and perfume. Once you are together in close quarters, night and day, you notice it more. It takes a bit of adjustment. It is not easy on either party.

Men, if your wife is finding it hard to take a shower and remove her breast milk stained clothes, it will not kill you to hold your baby and give her time to take a leisurely bath.

Giving birth is not as neat and clean as they show in the movies, and babies do not sleep, I do not care who thinks sleeping like a baby is a thing.

It is so ridiculous the excuses we come up with. Can we be adults for a minute?

If you have lived with a human being, you know they do not always smell fresh. Whatever fluid comes from a human being's body smells.

You are bound to manage it when you see each other once a week when everyone is doused in cologne and perfume. Once you are together in close quarters, night and day, you notice it more. It takes a bit of adjustment. It is not easy on either party, please understand this.

Women go through it too. You wake up next to your Prince Charming and his breath makes your eyes tear.

He farts and you think someone has hidden a smelly he-goat under your bed. Sometimes he lifts his arms and the pong can empty a crowded room.

The worst is when you try and use the bathroom after him and you wonder how a handsome man can have such smelly insides. I am yet to find a woman who used this as an excuse to ‘run away’.

Let us stop bullying women because of normal body functions. You now have young women who cannot dare use the bathroom for a number two, let alone fart when spending a weekend with a male interest.

All that waste you are forcing to stay in your body is bound to cause problems.

I am not saying do nothing if someone is smelling like a rabbit, seek medical attention. Both of you. Other things can be managed.

Someone does not start hating showers years into the marriage. They always did and you liked them like that. (Huyo ni chaguo lako [S/he is your choice!)

 
 
 

Reminds me of a workmate years ago. This guy’s breath would literally make you bloated. People nicknamed him Hal (for halitosis). We always wondered if he would ever get a girlfriend, poor Hal.

Well, he did. A very pretty one (with lungs of steel I suspect) and I hear they got married. And some fool is cheating us that he cannot stay at home because his wife is breastfeeding (keeping his seed alive), ati he cannot manage the smell of breast milk. Grow up!

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