• Covid-19 has really brought out different scenarios.
• Someone sent me a meme that said for the first time in history, wives knew for sure where their husbands were.
By now, we have all agreed on how dynamic African romantic relationships are. We care. We share. Many times we do both, happily, grudgingly or in ignorance.
Covid-19 has really brought out different scenarios. Take the wives, for example, according to social media — which is where we must do our socialising these days — seem to be very happy that they now almost always know the whereabouts of their restless husbands.
Someone sent me a meme that said for the first time in history, wives knew for sure where their husbands were. Of course, I don't agree with it. I'm sure one of my villagemates has found a way to escape and his wife cannot reach him. Let alone find him. Generally, though, wives are happy. Wives 1 - 0 Covid-19.
Husbands, on the other hand, are said to be moody and petulant. Someone said it is because they have not seen their side person. Another one said it is because they are being taunted. By their wives, especially when the curfew comes to effect. “si uende pahali unaendanga!” Another husband even decided to concentrate on his own life after going through his wife's phone. Husbands are just not having fun. Husbands 0 - 1 Covid-19.
Then the side chicks have really taken a bashing. Someone proclaimed that the men would leave them for their wives. Another meme exclaimed that men were now home with wives and side chicks might sleep hungry. Listen, we were not born yesterday. Even if we were, we are fast learners. You did not see the one that said now side chicks are being visited during the day like patients? I want to say, as a referee, that nothing much has changed for them. They are still getting their stolen moments: You know what they say about forbidden fruit. Side chicks 1 - 0 Covid 19.
The single ladies, some who were playing or are hard to get. The ones who were on ‘mancations’ (vacations from men). The ones about to get married. The ones who decided this was the year to start dating. There is the feeling of “I should have just enjoyed myself if only I knew this is where the whole world would be right now!”
You may have to keep away from your potential, fiancė, friend with benefits, boyfriend etc. But as someone said, you have been given a chance to rethink your choice. I wish I had been given a chance to rethink all those years ago. Ok. I would not ask for something as heavy as the coronavirus, I was thinking along the lines of breaking my leg on the way to church but here we are. I would say this is a draw. Single ladies 1 - 1 Covid-19.
Oh, my single men. I think this plague has made you guys look so petty my friends. The memes you are sharing! The one where you mock ‘slay queens’ about not posting pictures because apparently their hairs are not made or they are now at their real homes. It is unnecessary. A man who has lived with a woman knows she does not have golden eyelids or orange lips. Women generally look crazy at home every evening and weekend even without the closure of salons. Allow me to advise you to use this time wisely to reconnect and build quality relationships. Do not spend your time lusting after those out of your reach and then getting bitter. When reconnecting, take the time to find out how the woman is doing. Spend at least, a week, pretending to care about her interests before announcing the situation in your pants. There is no reason it should be hard. And why anyone should care. This one was a walkover in favour of Covid-19.
You have to admire the human spirit though. We are facing palpable calamity, and we can afford to laugh at each other all day. Loved ones will be lost, jobs and businesses too and the simple stress of coming to terms that many of the structures, the people we thought would keep us safe, cannot. For whatever reason, this is the time to realise that we are the answer to prayer. Nothing will fall from the sky, apart from the rain, of course.
You can offer someone a hand, share with them your ugali, call them on the phone or hold their hand (after sanitising). We are the ones we have been waiting for.