WHY THE DESPERATION?

A woman and her money are soon parted

So these days it is not enough to give a man your body and devotion.

In Summary

• Women want a man at their side so badly, we pay our own dowry, pay for weddings thinking if they see how hard we work for them, maybe they will appreciate us.

• I still fail to see why a woman’s money comes to play in a relationship.

So the other day I was mindlessly scrolling through Facebook when I came across a post warning women to stay away from a certain man. Apparently said man, photograph included, is notorious for his finger and tongue skills which he uses to fleece women out of their hard-earned money. The author of the post went ahead and named four or so victims who had fallen into his hands.

Listen, I have written an article before on dickmatisation. In that article I blamed women, a lot. For doing strange things for a man because of his dangling member. Now I want to blame society and how it socialises women.

There was a time when a woman’s illness could not be diagnosed, the good doctor would decide she needed a pelvic massage and or sex. That time the poor woman was probably mad or bored, maybe even broke.

And so it came to pass that over the years men decided their wands were magical and could cure women. You are upset, have a penis. You are lonely, have you tried a romp? You have some pain in your back? How about a ride on his stick? Assertive at work (be a b**** and get things done), when was the last time you had some? The worst part I think is women got to believe it. I say this because I do not see why a grown woman would give a man money so that she can have someone's fingers or tongue in her nether regions.

The most unfortunate thing is she will give him the money, usually to start some wanton business or take his mother for treatment for some phantom disease and yet still not be able to keep this man. Is the desperation because of fear of being single?

Do not get me wrong. Like my favourite member of Parliament (I am sure you know her), I enjoy the odd rumpy-pumpy. A lot. But not so much that I will give a man money. For anything.

So these days it is not enough to give a man your body and devotion (they told us that was how to keep your man), you must now give him money. Women want a man at their side so badly, we pay our own dowry, pay for weddings thinking if they see how hard we work for them, maybe they will appreciate us.

Society has told women not to be gold diggers (translation – do not expect a man to be a provider), but keep a man at all costs. Literally. All your savings, salary even inheritance. I am told that most widows are broke within one year if she decides to keep a man.

I still fail to see why a woman’s money comes to play in a relationship. She has the brains to make it but the brains take leave at some point and she cannot keep it when a man and her reproductive organs are involved. It used to be the church where she would go empty her coffers, seems she believes she needs a man more.

And why the fear? I get the need for sex, these are fleshly tents we live in. I get the need for companionship. I think on some level I even understand the need to look ‘presentable’ to society. But at the expense of your children's stomachs?

The most unfortunate thing is she will give him the money, usually to start some wanton business or take his mother for treatment for some phantom disease and yet still not be able to keep this man. Is the desperation because of fear of being single?

And why the fear? I get the need for sex, these are fleshly tents we live in. I get the need for companionship. I think on some level I even understand the need to look ‘presentable’ to society. But at the expense of your children's stomachs? Why would you remove from your children's mouths to give a grown man who can work for himself? Why aren’t we thinking of our kids? Why don't we want even to enjoy our own money? Even flash it down the toilet if we have nothing to do with it?

As my mother always said, a man has an innate need to be a man, a provider, protector. You will provide for him, he will then look for a place to go and be a man.

You know I like stories, an elderly and well-to-do woman met a young energetic man. He took a liking to her, or so she thought. She thought she was blessed that a young handsome man would love an old, heavy set, wrinkly but good-natured woman. He always carried her handbag (you can tell what a man loves about you by what he pays most attention to!) Anyway, last I heard, he is happily married to her best friend’s daughter. She had to move back to the village, but he is a wealthy man these days.