TO BE A FATHER

Dead beat dads, spare kids the pain

One day your father or mother loves you, the next minute he denies you or disappears.

In Summary

• If you are in a relationship and you are about to have children with the love of your life, I would recommend that you both go and sit for a whole morning at the children's court in Milimani law courts.

• That should sober you up some and help you make some good decisions. Life is too short to make all the mistakes by yourself. Learn from others.

If you are in a relationship and you are about to have children with the love of your life, I would recommend that you both go and sit for a whole morning at the children's court in Milimani law courts.

That should sober you up some and help you make some good decisions. Life is too short to make all the mistakes by yourself. Learn from others.

I want to bet on everything good that 99 percent of people with matters at the children's court did not envision ending up there. Fighting for or/and over their children. Some using their children to fight each other.

I feel for children. One day your father or mother (but it is mostly fathers) loves you, the next minute he denies you or disappears. One minute you are a happy child, going to school, eating your favourite snacks and watching mindless TV, the next these grown-ups expect you to choose where you are going to live. You do not even know if Spiderman is stronger than Superman but they think you might know where is best for you to live.

You hear all sorts of crazy things. Some people should be listed as mental cases. They are walking around while their medicine is expiring on shelves in Mathare. ‘Oh! I never wanted this child. This woman tricked me!’

I have never understood how a man can be somewhere, eating, sleeping, having coitus, laughing, going on as if all is well with the world when his children, his blood, are chased from school for lack of fees, locked out of their house for lack of rent, go days without food and many times have no access to medical care.

And he wants us all to be shocked, maybe even fall off our seats with our mouths open for emphasis. Of the shock we are experiencing. Excuse me please. When you removed your clothes and climbed on that woman, were you expecting beans? Now she has tricked you by producing a whole baby nine months later?

Then there are the others of suddenly suspecting some children are not his, despite being in the delivery room. Wait until you see the child. Walks like an ape just like his father. No DNA required.

Halafu the ‘I didn’t want to marry her, she trapped me with a baby!’ clowns. No one held a gun to your head, you wanted to be trapped. Babies have never been reason enough for marriage. Your parents paid fees, so reason like you saw the inside of a classroom?

Last Sunday we tried to celebrate Father's Day. The pain I witnessed and have witnessed since they tried making money off this day and many others is immense. I have never understood how a man can be somewhere, eating, sleeping, having coitus, laughing, going on as if all is well with the world when his children, his blood, are chased from school for lack of fees, locked out of their house for lack of rent, go days without food and many times have no access to medical care.

Please note, it is not that he cannot afford it. It is because he can. All because you parted ways with the mother. She also does not like you believe me, but she is looking after your children. A grown man with his senses working now must be taken to court and forced to look after his own children.

Yet these men feel no shame. Why? Because my dear women, we want to be well behaved. The Lord loves us with our suffering and burdens, let us leave all to Him. (Yes there are also women who leave their children. How many do you know? Thank you.)

it is time for women who are suffering with children to stop being well behaved. Stop all this nonsense of suffering with children if the man has means. Go to court, go to his office, see his HR, tell his wicked mother (she will not do anything but let her not think she has a useful son) tell his friends and if you like, tell me too.

I was told of a certain community where men will almost always try to look after their children because if they do not, their children will grow, sometimes collude with their mother and kill their father and share his wealth. I found it very interesting, from a philosophical point. I DO NOT recommend it though.

Listen, I am saying it is time for women who are suffering with children to stop being well behaved. Stop all this nonsense of suffering with children if the man has means. Go to court, go to his office, see his HR, tell his wicked mother (she will not do anything but let her not think she has a useful son) tell his friends and if you like, tell me too.

Our silence keeps them comfortable while we are dying literally trying to give children what they need. Then one day, a man will think all they need is tears and a testimony of salvation and all will be well. Do not be afraid to be called an angry woman, they call us worse things.

Whatever relationship you think you have with the mother of your children, be a man and look after your kids. A happy belated Father's Day to the real fathers out there. God bless you.