• As African girls, money is not a subject anyone brings up in your presence, unless you are being sent to the market
• Women need to get comfortable with money: Talking about it, proclaiming our love for it, handling it and knowing they deserve it
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They say a woman’s best friend is diamonds. I say a woman’s best friend is money. Cold hard cash. Or access to it. Now I know there are many of you of the gospel of money is not everything. Please move to one side and continue buying whatever it is you buy with good hearts and love as your currency. I am not here for you.
As African girls, money is not a subject anyone brings up in your presence, unless you are being sent to the market. It is considered vulgar for a woman to discuss money, let alone decide that she likes money. She is to behave as if money does not matter despite the fact that money is the legal tender nowadays, imagine that! Despite the fact that she needs money for everything, even if the prophets of doom would like to say that there is more to life than money.
Women need to get comfortable with money: Talking about it, proclaiming our love for it, handling it and knowing they deserve it. Asking for money. (For business, salary increment, food, sitting allowance.) For as long as we do not, we will stay poorer than our male counterparts.
I remember when I first started working and I had to negotiate my salary. (I wish I could hug my younger self, she went through a lot). I had decided on a figure but when I walked into the room, I subtracted Sh20,000. As I sat down, another Sh10,000 went. The boss, a man, then asked me, “How much salary do you expect?” He then he leaned over and said with a stupid smirk on his face, “I know you don’t need much. I am sure there is a man giving you some little monies. This salary will just be for little things like hair and shoes!”
I settled for less than half of what I had set my mind on. I decided I could at least cover my rent and I talked myself into thinking I would be able to put together some side gigs. I could eat and even get to this place to work. Well, that was the beginning of my financial woes. Well the beginning was having no financial training, this was the physical manifestation.
Then there are women who actually make money from their jobs. They are able to negotiate or manoeuvre and get good salaries. Then because women do not handle money well , they hand it all to a man to ‘manage’ it. Usually to the ground. Remember though, ‘good’ women do not dwell on money.
Some women are natural entrepreneurs. Whatever they touch turns to gold. But a woman with money and no man is not good enough. So you find a goon to front as the money maker. As a good woman who is not obsessed by money, you work harder and not discuss the issues at hand.
Our relationship with money as women is skewed and society is happy to keep throwing mud. If you like money you are materialistic, a gold digger and you will never get a man (it seems that is the goal in life, duck that you may have other dreams like ending world hunger, also men are good, we should have at least one.)
Remember, I started off by saying, money is a woman's best friend. My favourite verse in the Bible is Ecclesiastes 10:19, the entire verse but more specifically, money answereth all things.
When a woman has money or access to it, she is not desperate. She makes better choices. Better life choices that include mates. When a woman has money, her children, her family have better quality of life. When a woman has money her femininity shines through, she is easier to live with.
Women, please love money. I say to you again, love money! Do not be afraid to say it, do not be afraid to associate with it or with people who have it. Do not agree to be shamed for wanting a lot of money, do not sell yourself short. You deserve money. Anyone who tells you otherwise, wants to keep you poor. It’s 2019, we are working towards wealth.