• If you cannot afford a certain woman, she will not like you now that you call her all manner of names and try to slut shame her. If you are not her type, accept it with grace and move on
• Men worked, got money and married women who loved and respected them
Once upon a time in a village by the hills, there lived a poor man called Juma.
Juma was in love with Maua but he could not tell her for he knew he could not afford her bride price or to keep her in the life she was accustomed to. So, Juma came up with a plan to win Maua’s heart.
He went to a distant village to look for work. He toiled for three years in a strange land until he had acquired enough wealth. He then came back to his village and walked majestically to Maua’s home and asked for her hand in marriage. Maua fell in love with him and they had a big wedding, which was the talk of the village. They had 10 healthy children and lived happily ever after.
Tell me you do not remember a similar story from your childhood.
Men worked, got money and married women who loved and respected them. And it was the right thing to do. It was encouraged even. No one hacked you or stabbed you. Even if he had given you his last chicken, and you ate it. Because the chicken was very sweet, you promised to wait for him.
More often than not, a better suitor came knocking and you went with the better option. He would have been heartbroken, but he understood it was not meant to be. Then he moved on because somewhere else, he might be the better option.
If you sent her a gift or even took her out for a drink, maybe even paid rent, please, she is allowed to change her mind and go out with someone else.
These days, if you have a certain standard, you are a gold digger or a slay queen, and every man who cannot match your standards will be howling insults at you or and sending death threats.
Degrading women who want to live their own lives, as adults on their own terms, women you know nothing about is madness. This is why we have disorder in our society today. We have many weak men. (I am not a man hater; I call it as I see it). These days, some men want to be accepted as they are, read, unproductive. Some do not even have a problem with being taken care of by a woman. Then they wonder why women do not respect them.
Now, we have a society where things are upside down. We have men who manage to get a woman to look after them. Then we have those who lack ambition and spend their waking hours and limited data insulting women on social media because they have been rejected for obvious reasons.
Then there are those who for some strange reason cannot take no for an answer. (By the way, women have been killed by men who did not necessarily spend money on them. So do not harass me with half-baked arguments.)
What does not make sense to me the most is how suddenly it is easy for some men to kill women because of their own self-inflicted inadequacies and insecurities. How naturally some men support these men who kill women. Makes you wonder if they are the next killers. How angry men are at women. Do these men have mothers?
Yes, all murder is wrong, but you must agree that this is an emerging trend and a very worrying one. I think it begins from the hate some men have for women. Women are not playthings. Women are not property. Women do not owe you anything.
Listen, if you cannot afford a certain woman, she will not like you now that you call her all manner of names and try to slut shame her. If you are not her type, accept it with grace and move on: You are someone else’s type or not. Maybe that is how the gods meant it to be, accept your lot.
If you sent her a gift or even took her out for a drink, maybe even paid rent, please, she is allowed to change her mind and go out with someone else. You do not own her. Nobody forced you to do anything. You did it willingly and like everything in life, you win some, you lose more.
There is a group of men who need to man the duck up. (Auto correct still thinks I am talking about ducks).