• They should travel, they should work, they should go to school, they should even start businesses, they should fail and then they should succeed
The other day a young lady walked into my office and handed me a brilliant resume. She had gone to good schools and pursued a great degree. She was in my office seeking a job that was way below her qualifications.
"Why?’’ I asked her. "Because my mum forced me to do that degree, I didn’t want to, so when I finished the degree I moved out!’’ And it showed in her resume because she started doing voluntary work in a church.
I felt sorry for this unfortunate silly girl. She reminded me so much of myself at that age. There is no one more stupid than a girl aged between 20 and 25. I am not being a hater, listen, I was once stupid, rather 20.
At this age we think our parents are backward, old-fashioned and annoying. I swear a teenage girl has nothing on a 21-year-old girl. We think that just because we have breasts, that we can put on a bra, we are adults, of sound mind. Nothing could be further from the truth.
There is no one more stupid than a girl aged between 20 and 25.We think that just because we have breasts, that we can put on a bra, we are adults, of sound mind
Life is too short to want to make all the mistakes by ourselves, it is usually best to learn from others. As I looked at that young lady in my office, I thought of my Maria, who will be 18 this year, and I wished I knew how to tell her that a time is coming when she would think she knows what is best for her, but she does not. That she must listen to me because I only want the best for her and that I have gone through a lot because I did not listen to my own parents.
I thought I knew how to make ‘better choices’. Well, of course, I did not. I got married too young to someone I had no business being around. I remember on that fateful day, standing at the church door with my father, and he said to me, "Mama" (my father never called me by my name) "it is not too late to change your mind."
The look I gave him, I was ready to run down that aisle and pick my stupid groom, put him on my shoulder and run off into the sunset. Groom on one shoulder, one hand clutching my veil and my heels hanging from my mouth. (I have good taste in heels).
My father had tried to discourage me from that marriage so many times but I would not listen because it is not like he was the model husband. What I should have known is because he was not a good husband, he could tell a baboon from afar.
I really wish he used more force to convince me. This is why I really wish I had the words to pre-warn my daughter because should she ever fall into a position like I did those many years ago, I will break her legs. I am not diplomatic like my parents. Broken legs heal and we forget we broke our legs. Broken lives on the other hand, well that is a story on its own.
Young women should travel, they should work, they should go to school, they should even start businesses, they should fail and then they should succeed. Do not be in a hurry to grow up. Everything is waiting for you. Yes, even men. Like my mother used to say, there will always be men. Tall, short, thin, fat, rich, poor, old and young.
Miriam Makeba said, "Your knowledge, your education is your number one husband’’. I want to add and your money. If you have been fortunate enough to get an education or whatever head start in life, thank your parents. Whether they ‘forced’ you or not.
Now take time to live a little and learn a lot, before you commit your life to some man you think you cannot live without, because trust me, 10 years from now, you will look at that man and wonder who bewitched you.
Since it was women’s day, I decided to help the young lady who came for the interview. Call it my good deed for the day. I asked her to go back home to her mother, she was barely 24. I asked her to apologise and thank her. She looked down at her hands. She had those wedding band sets. Another one bites the dust.