On Tuesday I had the chance to be on the other side. So I went to vote. Usually, I will make small talk with whoever is standing next to me. There were two women. And try as I may, they were just giving me the cold shoulder. I smelt my breath, it was ok, and I was not wearing any party colours.
So I could not understand why two strangers in front of me and to the back would not even want to respond to the “This line isn't moving, kwani what are they doing inside there?” or even want to share my umbrella and at some point that sun was unforgiving.
Then I looked down at my socks. At my local, there is a young man who sells socks. And my local mates are such sports, they often “Throw a round of socks”. You can imagine how many pairs of socks we have in my house. All colours and patterns.
Now because I was in a hurry to get to the polling station at midday, I picked a pair of socks without giving it much thought. Well, it turns out that the socks were in the stripes and colours of gay pride.
I am not gay, and I have no problem with anyone who presents as gay, but even if I were, these women would really not be my type. I am not saying that to be mean, but I think I would like a different type of woman.
Then it dawned on me that not every man who is making small talk with you wants a relationship yawa. I felt so silly, thinking of the times someone somewhere, in the banking hall or at the supermarket line, just wanted to be friendly, and I was thinking, why can't men leave women alone? I have a boyfriend. I nearly burst out laughing at myself in that queue. I had a boss who always told us never to assume anything because it made an ass of u and me.
Speaking of assumptions, I wrote an e-book and published my first ebook, Things I wish they told me; How to enjoy a relationship with an African man. Someone said to me they could not buy it because we differ on matters of faith. I told her, “But it is not a religious book yawa!” Oh, it isn't? What is it about?
Jeez, woman, you have not even read the title, but you have decided because we differ in faith, which I have never really discussed with you; you have decided it is a religious script. Ok, it could be the next African Relationship Bible, but why not seek understanding before making an ass of u and me?
Reminds me of yet another women who said to me that I should stop writing about how women should please men or be with men in my articles. “Have you read any of my articles?” No. “So, do you just like listening to the sound of your voice?”
I could give many examples. Today women, I am on our case. We are dropping the ball. We take little or no time to find out about things we have strong opinions on. It will not kill you to do some research, read to understand or ask useful questions before making roadside declarations.
I remember having a conversation with a digital editor, and he mentioned to me that despite my insisting that I write for women, my articles were read mostly by men. He went on to further state that when there was a news item that particularly affected women, mostly men would interact with the post. That was not even the craziest thing he mentioned. Apparently, even getting surveys from women on shows that were deemed to be for women was a problem.
Yet on the ground, they are busy having strong ideals about things they know nothing about.
I want to say this, and maybe even disrespectfully, if women researched and asked relevant questions, the religious institutions would be empty because it is women who drive religion, and also, we would have better leaders. We are the majority. But we do not vote because we are posh, and God will give us leaders because he is a registered voter.
We keep yelling the future is female, maybe not in our lifetime for as long as we choose ignorance. My mother used to say, “try not to be stupid, for a stupid woman raises stupid children.”
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