I was in the local a night ago and a friend had just had a new hairdo that she was not sure about. I actually like it. I thought she looked regal. But she decided to ask the men what they thought about it. And you know men lie about what they like. Let me tell you a story. And I have many stories like this.
A lady on her wedding day tells the make-up artist that she really does not want much done on her. Fair enough. Only she does not want anything done. No powder for the shine, no foundation to cover one or two spots, and no lipstick for colour. Apparently, her groom liked her natural looking. Whatever that means.
A few months later (no prizes for guessing) who do we see at the pub with a girl whose lipstick can be seen from western Kenya? Mr I like ‘natural’ women. The madam he was with had orange artificial hair (maybe it was the lighting) and black knuckles. She did not have anything she came to this world with. Natural-looking I mean.
I think the lady eventually found out she had unnatural competition. Because she started posting selfies on Instagram wearing lipstick and shaped eyebrows.
Women, aunties, sisters and friends. When will you learn? Do what you want. Wear what you want. Be who you want. Your people, including men, will find you. And how nice will it be? To be in your natural state whether that means wearing blonde weaves and fake long nails. Also, who said being ‘natural’ means being unkempt?
Listen, because I really care. Why are you being programmed for other people’s (really, I mean men's) comfort? I do not know how to make you understand, we are here just this time, now, for all we know. This experience (life) is literally once in a lifetime. From here we do not know whether the next experience will require clothes let alone bodies.
There is that annoying cliche ati dress how you want to be addressed. Nani, dress how you want. It is not your fault that people have small minds so you must dress to accommodate their level of thinking. They will get used to it. To you. Appear in your authentic state and deliver what you have to.
This is not to say that dressing how you want must be over the top. How you want may be simple (notice I did not say natural) and that is ok as long as it is what you want.
I once worked somewhere and a female boss would tell us, the women, how to dress in the workplace. This was a meeting where both female and male staff were in attendance. Apparently, we were distracting grown men. Adult males who either had wives or girlfriends. Men who I can bet had seen a naked female body, been on top of one or some even. But somehow, these buggers could not manage a short skirt or a tight pair of trousers.
We really need to stop falling into these traps. Because you will never win. You are too over the top. Your colours are too bright. You put on too much makeup. Why are you wearing a weave? Your hair is like steel wool. Your skirt is too short. Do you wear trousers? You are too old to wear this or that. And you know the wonder of it all? Is that as women, we are also shaming our fellow women.
How you look is a form of expression. You are a walking billboard. For someone to want to dictate how you look is a form of censorship and we are not here for that.
The year is 2022. We are wearing what we want. We are expressing ourselves. Besides, I think wars, world hunger, diseases and gender violence need more attention than what colour lipstick I decide to wear. Don't you think so?
Meanwhile, tis the season, election season. Remember, the way you cannot tell me what to wear, you also cannot tell me what you think about who I decide to vote for. We are adults and everyone can vote for who they want and still be a good person. My dress my choice, my vote my right. And peace to all.
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