How coronavirus has changed relationships in Kenya

With over 20,000 deaths globally over coronavirus outbreak, many relationships have been put to test with some ending up broken while others are a few metres shy from ending.

Since the outbreak in China's Wuhan province, the World Health Organisation has asked other countries to ensure that they practise social distancing and wash hands regularly to prevent the spread of the virus.

In Kenya, more than 40 coronavirus cases have been recorded with the government tracing over 1,000 contacts.

One person has so far died of the virus and two are in a critical situation at the Aga Khan hospital.

The government has gone ahead to place a curfew on its citizens from 7 pm to 5 am.

But with all these measures and curfew, relationships have also been affected during this difficult period.

As I sit under my makuti hut in the Karen area, I overhear a conversation about Covid-19 from one of my philanthropic neighbours.

"What is wrong with you? If you don't want to use a sanitiser, get out of my house. This is my house, and I choose to do what I want with it and in It," Kamau Njoroge* shouted at his cousin.

Njoroge who is in his 40's was addressing his cousin who went out in the morning to the Nairobi Central Business District and came back in the house and did not wash his hands with soap and water nor did he use a sanitiser.

"You cannot come into the house after probably greeting over 10 people then you refuse to use a sanitizer? You are telling me that you don't want to use a sanitiser? This is my house, and you have to do as I say," Njoroge said.

"We can't allow you to come here and hold my spoons and bring this virus here. We are trying to be careful and you are behaving as if you don't care."

Njoroge said this even as he kept on walking to the balcony with a visibly angry face.

"You are a joker! Leave my house," he added.

As I listened to this conversation, the next thing I saw, was the man  - Njoroge's cousin-  storm out of the house, a clear indication of how the coronavirus outbreak has affected many relationships.

I then called my friend *Tamara Anne, 27 who tells me that she has had a fairly tough relationship since the Covid-19 broke out.

"Yes... I do have a boyfriend... we both know what’s going on so we are respecting each other’s spaces. Our mode of communication is mainly texts and phone calls," Anne tells the Star.

But Anne notes that the relationship has not been easy as it was before the coronavirus.

"It has changed a lot. No outings, no dinner dates, no nothing..It has been a hard time but we are trying to cope," she says.

As I continue collecting information on how this disease has affected many love lives, I bump into one of my former school mates.

Jane Njeri (30) tells the Star that she was psychologically prepared for the pandemic.

"I maximized on our time together before the pandemic. We knew that sooner or later, it would strike in Kenya," Njeri says.

But she notes that the distance has created misunderstandings and many assumptions that would, in the long run, affect their affair.

Having dated for three years, Njeri notes that the misunderstanding began immediately after the social distancing calls.

"Sometimes you send a message to him thinking that you are joking but then he misunderstands it out of frustrations of not seeing me," she says.

"Right now all I do is try and re-wind some of the memories I have when we were seeing each other day and night."

In Africa, relationships are about constantly seeing your partner, communicating to make things work the right way.

But with this disease, seeing your partner and spending time with them has become a dream especially for those people who are still dating.

In a matter of weeks, the global pandemic has transformed relationships, dating and sex.

Weddings and funerals have been postponed, while high divorce rates have been reported in China.

In China, where the coronavirus forced hundreds of millions into isolation, the number of divorce applications surged last month in at least two Chinese provinces, Sichuan and Shanxi, the local news media reported, as altercations intensified between quarantined couples.

Dazhou, a city in southwestern Sichuan Province, received close to 300 filings for divorce in less than three weeks, an official who handled divorce filings said.

"For everything happening, we need to reconnect and think of our past memories to sustain the relationship,"  relationship expert James Mbugua told the Star.

Mbugua notes that couples should ask themselves how their relationship was before the outbreak of coronavirus.

"This is the time that you will discover some new things about your partner. This is a very trying time. If the foundation of the relationship is not strong, it will develop cracks and finally break," he says.

He says that with the outbreak of the pandemic, frustrations and anger have become some of the issues people grapple with.

"People are having anger issues. If you do not see your partner for a long time, you might go crazy, and when this happens, you start becoming petty in everything you do," he says.

A Love Island contestant who is also a doctor Alex George tells the BBC that a lot of people have been getting really creative during this pandemic.

"If you use your imagination a little bit there are lots of ways you can have a sexy time without being face-to-face with somebody," he says.