For 26-year-old Ava Heather Mrima, a transgender born in Christian family, life has not been easy.
To her parents, Ava was their sweet little boy but all changed when they discovered his struggles with sexuality issues. They believed his new identity was a result of being possessed by an evil spirit.
Ava told the Star she was born a normal child of male identity and her parents knew she was their son.
However, from age 12, she had difficulty in interacting with both genders as some of his male friends would sense that she had different characters from them.
She said she was so close to girls than boys and her reflection on boys was different.
“I was so much in love with electronics and I could understand how to connect or repair them. I also had a pink diary even though I did not have much interaction with outsiders,” she said.
At around 16 years, she realised she was suffering from identity issues as the family and society saw her as an outsider.
"My parents were against my new identity and we would always have a scuffle," she said.
She narrated how she joined secondary school amid discrimination.
"The problem got worse when I joined Form One in a boys' school. I would feel out of place and I had to run away after two months of being in that school," she said.
Her father likened her to a person possessed by an evil spirit and at some point, she felt like dying.
"My dad used to think that I was a cursed child or I was possessed with some evil spirits. I became so stressed because of what I was going through and even went into depression. I tried suicide three times because I wanted to die," she said.
"The last time before leaving home, I had a bad argument with my dad who even hit and locked me inside the bathroom and called the neighbours to explain to them what was happening. Luckily, I was with my phone and dialed a hotline and get the police to rescue me. My father did not want me to leave the house but I was being frustrated and had to endure a hard situation."
Police said the matter should be resolved at home after listening to the circumstances.
"One officer who sympathized with me told me to look for a place to stay until my father could come to terms with my situation," Ava said.
She said while her siblings supported her, the mother, who is separated from the father, had difficulties in accepting the situation.
“My mother was curious to know what was happening and tried talking to a friend about my case and how to handle it”.
"I cannot talk much about my relationship with my dad because we don’t talk often. We take months before he calls. The last time we talked, he said I was welcome back home and that he was praying for me," she said.
She last met the father last year.
"I know he never expected that I could be the way I am. The pressure from society and his beliefs have really led him into refusing to accept me the way I am," she said.
When asked about her faith, she says she does not go to church because she doesn’t think they will accept her.
She said when she started experiencing her identity problem, she sought refuge in the church but never got anyone to talk to.
“I went to another church to seek refuge and just have someone to talk to but everyone seemed busy in that church and that was when I tried to commit suicide for the third time before leaving home.”
Ava is dating but she says, getting a partner is not easy because everyone has a different orientation.
"The society should know that it takes a process of anyone who is a transgender for self-healing and sometimes I have weird thoughts. Sometimes it is very hard to accept everything that is happening in life."
“ I am sure the gay society has about 600 members and only four per cent of it are transgender. We are not many”, she said.
She said that after months of struggle she met a friend who accepted her.
"There about 2015 or 2016, I moved to my friend’s place who accepted me as I was because I could not even understand what was happening to me. After staying with her for about six months, I got a new job with Jinsiangu.org."
She says the organisation deals with people with transgender, intersex, gender non-conforming and offers health and identity issues counseling.
"They counseled me and I started believing in myself again and moved into my house," Ava said.
The organization is reaching out to people whose families kill children who have identity problems.
“The organisation has had cases in Nyeri and Western where parents kill their kids because of the children's condition. They feel embarrassed”, she said.
Ava added that she was never aware that people with a condition like hers existed until she met Audrey last year.
She said she does web design after online courses she studied because of identity issues with colleges and universities.
"I managed to change my identity legally through the help of the organization."
