Can I first address younger women? The way I see some of you behave, you do not respect your elders. So this past Sunday we were at some establishment in Hurlingham. (Do Nairobi people ever sleep?) The music was good, Sunday Cruise. But now, people’s grandfathers and fathers were roaming about, some seated looking after handbags and another one arguing with one girl because she was apparently flirting, maybe with her agemate.
Seriously my young sisters, you just cannot remove a mzee from his house, some did not even have sweaters yawa! Allow him to buy drinks then leave him looking lost while you scream and giggle with your girlfriends. At least dance to one or two songs with him, vigorously, so that he is dizzy and then sit him down.
So from last week's article I came to a conclusion based on the emails, WhatsApp messages and random conversations in social places. This is what I have decided.
There are many bitter Christian women that have no sense of humour. I refuse to agree that you have some authority on the way people should live their lives. One said she wants people to live a certain way to please their God. Madam, we do not care what you want. Listen judge Judy, you that wants, I hope you are living that life that is pleasing your God.
Then there are the men that want easy lays. For these, their ideal would be random holes where they can fall into whenever for a fix. Listen, when did men start competing with women? “Oh, why can’t I be spoilt by a woman? Why should I always provide?” Good news, that woman exists friend, she is called your mother!
But the most surprising category of people was some older men. They said, Felly, I must woo a woman, even if I just want to knock boots. They said they could never be direct and just ask for the thing. I respect that. Especially that there are men who still woo women. I just hope somewhere in the wooing you give terms and conditions.
Let me go back to some Christian women, because I have been seeing the way you are coming and you are irritating me. When you have to start off by saying you are saved and what not, you have lost it. They shall be known by their fruits. Just because you think you are going to heaven does not mean you can judge others. Judge not lest ye are judged. I do not know why you like judging your fellow women.
One said to me, "Women are the ones who go after married men! They shouldn't expect sympathy." My dear virgin Mary, do you know how many of your husbands are single or widowed out here? How about asking your husbands to leave women because they are married to you. Remind them daily if you must. Thrice a day like medicine if you like. We both know it will stop nothing. But let us be clear that it is your fault.
Before you bind me in the name of all that is holy, let me explain. There is no get out of jail card like a Christian wife who is proficient in escapism. You have been led to believe that your husband is philandering against his will. There is a Jezebel out there that has such power over him, that he forgets he has a wife. Think about it, if that woman could master such power over a man, why would she waste it on your bugger when there are men like Dangote, etc?
Listen hold your men accountable. I recently heard of a tragic story, well a tragically funny story. Some man, we want to believe of sound mind, went home after a whirlwind affair and convinced his prayerful wife that Jesus had saved him from the jaws of a she devil.
That silly goose had the nerve to claim that his former girlfriend used to travel to Mombasa, and every time she did, he would not sleep at home. The witchcraft would make him take her to posh hotels, and punch any man who looked at her. But praise God he is free. Two cannot walk together unless they agree, the mama kanisa rushes to church to share how stupid her husband thinks she is.
Anyway, tomorrow is the 18th anniversary of my mother’s death. Continue to RIP my mother Marie, I am because you were.
