Former TV news anchor Dennis Okari has narrated how he almost became suicidal after his divorce from former media personality Betty Kyallo.
Speaking at the Daughters of Zion event led by Reverend Kathy Kiuna, Okari narrated that falling in love and getting into marriage was the wrong idea for him and his definition didn't work.
"For me, the idea of falling in love and getting into marriage was the wrong thing because love is more than emotion. It's a choice because it is this person that you will have to stay with for the next 30 to 40 years of your life but you have to choose them every day," he said.
"I wanted to crash my car on Mombasa Road one night. I remember a voice so clearly telling me why don't I crash the car, and get into a comma, at least weeks would pass by and by the time I wake up the heat will be over. I looked for a boulder that used to be on the road but that night I didn't see it."
Okari said that he didn't get married to get divorced.
"Nothing can ever prepare you for divorce, you can watch movies and from Hollywood one may think it's an easy decision where you just walk in and walk out," Okari said.
Using an illustration, he said it was not easy for him to fight many private, public and spiritual battles after the breakup.
"In front, you have to face a battle as a child of God that's the legal battle, on the left there is a private one with yourself, to the extreme right the public battle, and behind you are fighting the spiritual one," Okari said.
The investigative journalist said that the battles got so intense that he felt so alone and fell into depression.
"The people who were your friends isolate you, they take sides and that is when you find you are alone. When you find out that you're alone, you begin to fight inner battles and there is that rage that makes you fall into depression," he said.
Okari said that being the first-born of the family there was the feeling of shame and judgment that came with the divorce.
He stated that he felt like a failure because he was the one who had to set standards for his family for everyone to look up to him.
"Divorce produces crazy things about you that you didn't know about yourself," he said.
Okari stated that it was amidst the divorce that he turned to God.
